Friday, September 11, 2015

Preview: Blackosh - Whores, Booze & Black Metal

 Blackosh, keepin' it classy.

On November 27th Iron Bonehead releases the first album by Blackosh: Whores, Booze & Black Metal. Should you buy it? I wouldn't.

Peklo nás baví is the first preview track released so far, and it does nothing for me. It feels like some weird cross between black metal and Motley Crue. Not so much in the way the music sounds, but in the way it treats it's subject matter based on the album art and bio that I was sent. Here's a sample: "Whores, Booze & Black Metal brims with that same electricity, a black METAL record that stomps ‘n’ surges with an addictive catchiness – and much like its title, there’s no small amount of devilish fun to be had. ". Sounds like a long way of saying black n' roll, though they manage to avoid the Kvelertak trap of sounding like punk rock with black metal vocals, they definitely still sound like a black n' roll band. They may fall within the sounds of actual black metal but it feels like the antithesis of the genre to sing about sex drugs and rock n' roll.

Here's another gem: "However, Blackosh is more than simply a “retro” trip or retread of past glories. If anything, the manner in which these almost-anthems are rendered – cold, dead, even industrialized – bespeaks a desire to assault the listener with the most un-human of textures, drawing a line in the sand between party time and nuclear fallout.". I didn't find anything in that description within the song I actually listened to except party-time. I have a feeling that if I knew what he was saying, it would be something along the lines of how "super awesome" it is to drink and gang bang a bunch of drunk sluts with Satan.

Black metal isn't about drugs, sex, and fun. It's about satanism, paganism, occultism, hatred, war, and death. Want to make a black metal album? Pick something vaguely related to one of those terms, record 300 copies to create forced scarcity, and sell it on the internet. The fewer copies you make the more trv metalheads will want it. Euronymous should have spent less time planning to murder Varg Vikernes and did more to stop this kind of thing from happening to his genre after he died. It's to be expected though. When I saw the album cover a couple weeks back and noticed that there was a blow job on it I had no illusions about what was on the other side of that play button and so I kept pushing it off to the back of my list. It was better than I expected, but if the rest of the album sounds like this you would be better off saving your money for an actual hooker. The most lasting impression I got was the blowjob and a real bj would be a better memory than this.


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