Friday, April 26, 2013

"Stop Letting The Music Industry Pick Your Music For You"... Unless That Music Industry is Pantera


I was judging everyone's white people problems on my Facebook newsfeed this morning when I stumbled upon the gem you see above, shared by some scrawny limbed chump in my "Friends" list from the Official Pantera Facebook page. Unfriended. Eat a wood screw salad you repugnant spermwad.

While it's pretty audacious for whomever is in charge of Pantera's page to post probably one of the most hypocritical things ever written since the U.S Constitution, I'm going to direct this to the greasy-haired internet schmuck who actually took the 14 minutes in Photoshop to create this thing; without utilizing a fraction of any of those minutes to consider how his statement makes absolutely 0 fucking sense to anyone. Anyone, of course, except for the 25,xxx people who "liked" this post at the time of this writing. That's right, 25,000+ Pantera Fans agree with an online statement of how "underground" Pantera is on a single post. Just sit and let that digest for a little while.

First, let's talk about the "music industry".  The music industry consists of all the companies and individuals that make money by creating and selling music. An excellent example of such a company is Atco, a record label owned by the Warner Music Group. Ringing any bells yet? Atco was the record label that released Vulgar Display of Power, inarguably Pantera's most widely popular and best selling album. After last year's re-release of the album, its total sales increased to 2,177,000 making Pantera a double-platinum act based off one record alone.

The 2012 rerelease of VDoP sold 9,000 copies in its first week. If those were all purchased on iTunes, that's $90,000 dollars generated by the name Pantera in just one week. Even more if you consider the price of buying it on CD at a store. If you're a reader of this site, you probably don't even see half of that sort of money in a goddamn year. I don't know why anyone would go through life without realizing that all the ex-members of the band Pantera without bullet holes in their faces are fucking rich.

Here are some satellite photos of Vinnie Paul Abbot's home.  These are only attainable by such means, as all unauthorized people on the premises are shot on site in an effort to protect Pantera's status as a group of DIY-underground bad asses:

In-ground pool sized to fit exactly one Vinnie Paul.
Pantera is such an undeniably mainstream act, it hurts my prostate. MTV, Vh1, FM radio, and magazines are (or were) all major cogs in the music industry machine, and have been giving Pantera more than a fair share of exposure and lauding for decades. The members enjoyed an impossible amount of fame and even impossibly fatter wallets because of it all. Serious money was made on Pantera. To think that Pantera and the music industry are parallel entities by any means is to not think at all. 

I understand the point you're trying to convey because I was in middle school once myself. Popular music acts get way more recognition than the "music that deserves it". It's true that Justin Bieber sold way more in his fart of a musical career than Pantera ever did or ever will in all the time they were active and not murdered. But that's because Bieber is way more widely accepted by a much broader audience with more money to spend on him and his Vanilla Ice haircut. It's like you're comparing Budweiser to Flying Dog IPA. Just because a lot more people enjoy and buy Budweiser doesn't mean that Flying Dog is a truer, grass roots, underground beer that defies all traditions of the beer industry. Millions of dollars are made selling that shit thanks to a niche of people who prefer it over the bigger name stuff. It's still money. It's still business. The scale is irrelevant. If you want to listen to good metal that wasn't made for money so you can make some ham-fisted point like the one you attempted, it's all over the place. Get Googling, dipshit. Bands like Pantera are the last place to look. 

Working on another big update. This one was just some random inspiration of the day. Now go out there and tell some Pantera fans they love pop music.

- Brenocide \,,/

47 comments:

  1. Good post, but Pantera fucking sucks.

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    1. Really? Because that totally wasn't the entire point of this article.

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    2. But it wasn't. Your sarcasm is lost on that comment.

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    3. yeah aj specia that was a really stupid thing to say

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    4. No it wasn't. The two of you are collectively retarded. The entire point was that Pantera is no better than the aforementioned pop stars. Next time you comment on an article, try actually reading the fucking thing first. You might just learn something.

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    5. haha dude do you even know how to read? this article was literally about how pantera is to metal fans what justin bieber is to pop fans. pantera's musical talent has NOTHING to do with any of this, you're stupid.

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  2. I have always considered them pop music. Aweseome rant by the way. \,,/

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    1. Ass kissing faggot.

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    2. Are we not the same person

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    3. Hello me, meet the real me

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    4. It is WE the people, RIGHT??

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    5. I am Spartacus.

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  3. I can't even process the stupidity of thinking that Pantera is underground. I'm too caught up on the idea that it's righteous to listen to the music that *these guys* tell you to listen to, but if you listen to this other music hocked by *these other guys*, then you're a tool of the industry. The only acceptable reason to listen to some kind of music is because you like it. If you really like Bieber and listen to him, fine. If you listen to Pantera because some "greasy-haired internet schmuck" made you feel bad about your music tastes, then you're a fucking tool.
    (Secret caveat: If Brenocide tells you to what to listen to, you fucking do it.)

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Ha! Good one, Chase! I second that 'secret caveat'.

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  4. I hate pantera, but i also hate the fact you all were whiny, hand wringing faggots when mitch lucker face fucked a telephone pole..upset about the ''callous and insensitive'' comments made by your readers.
    Ripping on a murdered musician is somehow better than mocking a swoopy haired scenester homo, that got shitfaced and basically killed himself; in your logic.

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    1. wow man what are you even arguing?

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    2. Anon, my "callous and insensitive" remark was made a long time ago, but I can still easily remember that I wrote it in regards to the commentators that were ACTUALLY whining about all the things my readers were saying about Lucker's death. I believe the phrase I used was "go figure", which is a sarcastic phrase that essentially means "no shit". Of COURSE you fuckers are going to shit all over Mitch Lucker hearing that he died. Why would I expect anything but that? Why would that upset me? Did you even see what I wrote when I broke the news? I might as well have been baiting those sorts of comments. I gave you guys free reign to say whatever the fuck you wanted about him. Did you totally miss that?

      In short, it's obvious you have no idea what my logic is, due to the evident fact that you are clearly fucking retarded. I'll make sure to write all my future Facebook posts at a Kindergarten level from here on out, as the use of sarcasm among obvious context clues is hopelessly lost on the likes of you. I sincerely hope with all my heart and soul that your family enjoys the treat of your funeral after you eat shit in your own sort of mongoloidish fashion sometime soon. Seriously. Stop living, please.

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  5. I can't believe you were so butthurt you had to write a rant. Gay.

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  6. Jason Villarreal is clearly a butthurt Pantera fan.

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  7. Pantera is fucking awesome! If it wasn't for them the music you listen to wouldn't even be around.

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    1. Pantera was preceded by nearly a decade of Metal and no influence on any form of Metal except for the bastard child that is Groove Metal so don't you dare pull that shit.

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    2. dude are you sure you correctly understood the article? i'm not sure you did

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  8. All of the hate because Pantera made a ton of money. People only think they suck because they think they are edgy for liking lesser known bands. Sure this band got plenty popular. Does that make them a sucky band? No. They earned all that money and popularity because they are good musicians.

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    1. right right but the point of this article is that the contrast stated in the picture doesn't exist, how hard is that to understand?

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  9. Haters gonna hate. Nobody cares about your opinion or rant, faggot. We also don't care that you hate Pantera. I happen to like Pantera.

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    1. fun fact: this article is not about the musical skill of Pantera and the quality of Pantera's music is 100% independent of the message here

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  10. Hey, everyone who thinks that the point of this post is that Pantera sucks, or that popular bands that make a lot of money suck: go fuck yourself. Then come back and re-read this post a few more times. Or, I guess, read it for the first time. It's clear that you are all too busy defending your taste in music, shitty or otherwise, that you didn't even bother to read the post. If you had, you would know that he's not attacking your taste and that the post has nothing to do with how good or bad Pantera is.

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    1. yes thank you. my god i didn't even know it was possible to have such poor reading comprehension.

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  11. HEY FAGGOTS BEIBER FOR LYFE

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  12. Hah, this article made me think of "The Great Southern Trendkill" and how amazingly ironic it is. Well done, Brenocide.

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  13. I think what the picture meant to say is that Pantera is promoted by the music industry,but if you listen to artists like Justin Bieber and the other homosexuals\transsexuals then you should stop letting the music industry pick for you,at least that's what i think

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    1. no man the picture is saying that anyone who likes Pantera is an intelligent and open-minded individual while anyone who listens to modern pop artists are "sheeple".

      also dude justin bieber is both heterosexual and cisgendered, are you literally retarded?

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    2. He didn't mean it literally. He means that homos and trannies suck cock (literally) while Bieber et al suck cock (figuratively).

      The picture also made no claim about intelligence and open-mindedness of Pantera fans (but thank you for reading it that way). It does make a claim about the relative excellence of Pantera when compared to the homos and trannies (again: figurative) pictured on the left.

      Y u-ah no understand-ah anything?

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  14. Couldn't agree more. Congratulations for this blog.
    Greetings =)

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  15. The Great and Shining Super-Saiyan Centaur4/27/2013 8:10 AM

    your writing isn't as good as it used to be

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    1. Sorry. Go read Nathaniel Hawthorne you anal bead.

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    2. I would like a Brenocide style retelling of "The Scarlet Letter" now.

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  16. Brutonymous Maximous4/28/2013 2:30 AM

    Exhorder > Pantera

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    1. Phag Anselblow7/10/2013 5:17 AM

      There's always one predictable cockmuppet who can't help saying that in any discussion involving Pantera.

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  17. "Now go out there and tell some Pantera fans they love pop music."

    I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of butts suddenly cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced.

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  18. 4:10 your father sucks nigger dicks while your mother cries into her government cheese

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  19. Rather ironic how the chap who makes this blog wants to be liked and followed and given money but then hates on bands who are liked, followed and make money.

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  20. god damn that's a stupid post, dude.

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  21. The only part of this I strongly disliked was how flippant you were about Dimebag Darrell's murder.
    The rest of it is interesting food for thought.
    I think most of us can agree that it's only teenagers who can get away with acting like dickheads, who spew shit like 'my music is better than yours'. It's only at that age is it excusable to be so blindly passionate about a group or genre.

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  22. Brenocide is the biggest poser ever

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  23. The low level of people's reading comprehension is fucking amazing.

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.