|A photo of a metalhead with glasses and a smug look on his face. Exactly what I was looking for.|
Metal experts are easy to identify in a social setting. Once you start speaking with one, you'll immediately recognize the fact that they have gone through all of life with this severe misconception that "the more you know about metal, the more metal you are." Due to their delusions regarding how one should appreciate music, they spend the majority of their spare time (which they have in massive surplus), on the Internet, researching as many different bands from as many different genres and generations of heavy metal music as humanly possible. They fill what would otherwise be a completely empty head with a vast amount of knowledge regarding bands and music that nobody's heard of and nobody cares about, all in the effort to look smarter and more cultured than the next metalhead. For you see, this is the metal expert's only goal in life; to fool you into thinking that he is better than you are and better than everybody else. It is however, an incredible farce. There is literally nobody worse or less metal than this person. Nobody.