IWRESTLEDABEARONCE Make Musical Shift to "Still Ironic"

Hey. Hey guys. 
Hey guys you 
Hey guys you know what
Hey guys you know what would
Hey guys you know what would be funny? 
If we
If we put on corpse paint and
We pretend to
We pretend to be black metal...

Holy shit it's super fucking genius. Because nobody in the universe of metal comedy ever in a billion and a half years conceived the original, cutting edge scheme to put on corpse paint and act grim and frost-bitten for the sake of irony. No, that has literally never happened. Now I understand what everybody means when they say that deathcore scenesters IWRESTLEDABEARONCE should be classified as "Avant Garde Metal". It's because they're just so cutting edge, and ground breaking. We're not just talking about putting random jazz parts in deathcore songs. Oh no. We're also talking about how brilliant the band can be at trolling the internet: 

"We were sick of getting lumped in with 'scene' and 'whatever-core' bands, so we decided to embrace our roots and just go straight black metal on the new album," says guitarist Steven Bradley. "I'd say 90 percent of the new record is straight-up black metal, so we had to change our image to match... Because, of course, that's just as important, if not more so, than the music." 

Quoted from guitarist Steven Bradley, metalcore hipster guitarist extraordinaire . If you guys are going to start taking the words of the guy who coined the term "metal just got gay" anything close to serious, go lay down in traffic until you're done figuring out how they might not be. There is an upside to all of this obvious TRV metal mockery however, and that's the necro, grim and frostbitten photo shoot the band did with irony-loving band photographer Jeremy Saffer has some decent cleavage shots of vocalist Krysta Cameron's small perfect teacup-sized breasts, which can be seen here.

TEE-HEE, there's like, an upside-down cross in the logo and you can't even read it! uber necro FTW! omg lol ;) 

So are IWABO really becoming a TRV KVLT black metal band? No. They're not. I fully and easily recognize this fact, because unlike some metal fans and bloggers, I am not legally retarded. The irony I'm smelling is thicker than if I were to take a drive through Portland, Oregon and accidentally leave the air on. It smells like vegan "chicken" nuggets. At the very most, if IWABO made some black metal tracks for their upcoming album, they're going to be parodies, and they're going to suck.

Irony is the weapon of hipsters. If you think this is cute or funny, die on a railroad.