Now that I think about it, I can literally count the number of Aussie metal bands that I’m even aware of, on one hand. I can then proceed to lower the number of fingers that correspond to the number of bands that suck, and stick the remaining fingers up my nose. Just why the Australian metal scene is so pathetically flaccid is something of a mystery to me. I mean, I know I’m obviously the most
bigheaded metal person in the whole country, but surely there must be at least a handful of musicians out there with a copy of Melissa and a Flying V capable of rocking our sunburnt socks off. Maybe it’s just too hot down here to play instruments and wear black all the time. Maybe we’re all too on edge to play metal because all our animals are trying to kill us!
Koalas: More deadly than they look.
Backing up for a second and looking at this seriously, you know your country is in trouble when the most important
metal band your country has ever had is Parkway Drive. Parkway Drive for God’s sake!!! Do you know where Parkway Drive are from? Byron Bay!
Byron Bay is quite possibly the least metal place on the planet. It’s the kind of place where you get lynched to death if you don’t spend eight hours of your day surfing, and the other four walking around without a shirt on.
Down here, Parkway Drive are hailed as “local hero’s” of sorts and are enjoyed to the extent that a virgin enjoys dry docking (i.e. you can’t get any better, so it’ll have to do).
I... I don't even...
My real frustration, however, is aimed at you! The people that live in places like Britain and America, places where you not only get to see good bands on a regular basis, but sometimes even have to choose between two good bands because you’re so spoilt for choice!
How could you have possibly let Parkway Drive become this big?
In a world of Amon Amarth, Gojira and Mastodon, how have this bunch of –Core poseurs become and I quote “one of the top two contemporary metal bands in the world today”?
I place the blame squarely in your hands, world. We Aussie’s are innocent in our ignorance. You should have known better than to have ever let this happen.