Make Me Famous Makes You Mad

Trancecore/Crabcore is officially the new fake metal. This is where our current opposition lies. It is the biggest turd to be pinched on to the divine face of true heavy metal in the history of the genre. Period.

So what about metalcore? Look, if you bought a puppy when I first started hating metalcore, it would probably be dead by now. That's old news. When's the last time All That Remains got under your skin? When you heard them on the radio? Please. You might as well still be holding a vendetta against Korn. How about deathcore? So three days ago. I said my peace, and I'm now comfortable with the fact that deathcore is a genre with an expiration date. It's boring, it sucks, and it's loved only by listeners going through some awkward teen phase. Deathcore listeners have two options: evolve into death metal listening, or turn into a mild-mannered adult, struggling to get a decent job with their regrettable throat-pieces. It's impossible to enjoy or play such a dispensable form of music for the rest of your life. Emmure won't be doing any reunion tours 15 years after they break up, chumps. Get over it.

Trancecore isn't really much different for that fact, but it's fresh enough to the scene to remain prominent for years to come before it inevitably fizzles out to make way for the next worst thing. Whether you want to or not, in order to be be a standing member in our metal super elite TRV KRV, you have to keep track of what's current in musical atrocities. Otherwise you'll waste your time hating something that was long-since defeated by the test of time.

So what band has every metal blogger's black skull panties in a twist? None other than Ukrainian trancecorists Make Me Famous:



There's spin-kicks, tight-pants, gelled-hair, running in place, auto-tuning and crab dancing aplenty to be found here. But what is Make Me Famous doing that Attack Attack! and Abandon All Ships haven't done already? Apparently enough to get Metal Sucks and Metal Injection to consider this to be a running for "worst band of the year". I wouldn't necessarily knock the likes of Asking Alexandria out of such a contest, because of what I'm seeing here, but it is pretty close to one of the worst things I ever heard. At least these guys reveal why they're a trancecore outfit with their band name. I might have a little more respect for the likes of Jamie's Elsewhere if they were called Give Us Your Money Please.