Oh no! Their drummer quit! Because you can't find anymore of those anywhere. Give it a rest Dream Theater. You guys are making a Lebron James spectacle out of replacing your human beat machine.
Before I continue, I'll inform you that the above clip is something you're only supposed to be able to see after you set yourself up for spamageddon and like Dream Theater on Facebook. So one of the Metal Sucks dudes managed to track down a clip being played (with no "likes" attached) on The Gauntlet. Metal Sucks gets it from The Gauntlet, and I get it from Metal Sucks. Isn't metal blogging fun? Anyway, it's probably going to be taken down soon, so if it stops working after getting pulled, I'm apologizing for that right now.
So if Portnoy was such a "family member" to them, why make replacing him into this shameless VH1-style reality game show phenomenon? From how they're explaining their relationship as a band, finding a new member in such a fashion would be like trying to find your next spouse in the same... you know what, never mind. The clip reveals the drumming contestants as Thomas Lang, Aquiles Priester, Mike Mangini, Marco Minneman, Peter Wildoe, Derek Roddy, and Virgil Donati.
This just in! TNM EXCLUSIVE! Brenocide locates replacement as new Dream Theater drummer: