Retirement

A little more than four months ago, the Metal Gods, Judas Priest, announced their farewell, EPITAPH world tour; citing no reasons, leaving us (me) to speculate that they have had too many years ‘screaming for vengeance,’ ‘hot rockin’ to the point of frailty and reminding us that eventually we all must face the ‘sad wings of destiny.’ Like many of you, I was upset to hear that one of my favorite groups would provide me and the world with pure heavy metal no longer, however; I came to terms with the fact that death eludes no man and would have to cough up the last bits of my life savings to attend their American tour.

I awoke this morning to my usual routine of Facebook stalking my “friends” and reading the headlines of the updates to bands and pages that I have yet to block, when I stumbled upon a post linking me to this. I had yet to consume my morning cup of coffee, so I hastily brewed my caffeinated beverage, made myself a hearty breakfast and re-checked what I had seen to ensure that what I saw was not the remnants of a horrible vivid dream. Faithful TNM readers, you are not mistaken nor was I. Click here for the official press release.

K.K. Downing is the founding member of arguably the greatest heavy metal band of all time. He has been with the band since day one and could not manage to stick it out for another year/year-and-a-half? What?

K.K. must have sprained some of his arthritic fingers on this tour.

I get it, K.K., you’re old. So are your buddies Rob, Glenn, Ian, and Scott. Barring information like cancer, AIDS, or Alzheimer’s that they are withholding, there is no excuse for giving up on your fans months before your FAREWELL TOUR. Even Matt “Family First” Barlow had the balls to say goodbye to his European fans before taking off to change diapers, flip pancakes, and scrub the toilet.

Former rocker K.K. Downing outside his house, announcing some news about the golf course he built. Seriously. Check it out. I read it on BBC.

What is happening with our genre? There are all of these mixed signals it seems. Am I asking too much of my favorite artists that they rock until they die like our late great hero Ronnie James Dio? I understand bands like Priest, Maiden, and Motörhead are exceptions to the metal rule of longevity, but I expect a little more from the founding members. Hell, after 40 years, I would assume that he knew he was made of a different fiber than the rest of us and for him to understand that he is not a normal human being any longer. He had been a pivotal piece to the unique sound of Judas Priest, especially playing lead, so now we as fans are left with only a partial tandem of metal licks so vile that Satan himself falls to his knees offering his mouth to the work of oral stimulation to ensure that such sounds will continue to plague the Earth. Did he have a “senior moment,” is he suffering so greatly from senile dementia or Alzheimer’s that he forgot the rules or the songs? If not, what other explanation is there that can justify quitting before the quitting tour? I know which path I would choose if I could either go out one last time in TRV metal glory or enter the hospice.

K.K. in a few years (man near left). Have fun with retirement, asshole.

I guess we know where they got “Judas;” and I thought it came from the Dylan song.