Typically, this “metalhead,” with his pube-like wiry hair, lanky physique, and hoodie walks uncomfortably around the venue, wetting his pull-up's (Mommy wow, he's a big boy now!) because he has no idea what to expect, this being his first show and all, and he heard from his best friend's older brother's dad that rock shows are loud.
Listen folks, your parents might tell you that your hearing is precious and to protect it because you never get it back, but leave that shit at the door of the show. Protecting your hearing is fine on the gun range, but losing your hearing is a battle wound that all of us metalheads are proud to display. Eventually, these “loud” shows become listenable because you lose those wimpy cells in the ear canal and you are left with pure, unadulterated metal cells. This my friends, is a fact.
There is an adage, “if it's too loud, you're too old:” learn it, love it, live by it; it is the first commandment of the metalhead way of life. Some jack off is blasting his hip hop next to you, well “Blow your speakers with rock and roll!” as the mighty Eric Adams belted and crush your enemy with your overwhelming metal-ness and ability to tolerate a volume of music that far surpasses anyone else. When Lemmy asks you if the music is loud enough, you say NO!
Metal is an experience and nothing completes this experience more than the volume. When you come to our sacred ground wearing ear plugs, what you are telling us is that you really do not want to partake in this experience with us; you are telling us in a roundabout way that you are better than the rest of us and when it comes to a show, no pissant little dipshit is going to be better than us.
So, when daddy hands you a pair, grow a pair and tell him to shove it; you are a “metalhead.”