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| GO HOME AND CHANGE. |
I've been holding on to this one for a while...
For months I have pondered whether or not making mention of something so ridiculous, so out of bounds, so unmetal was actually necessary. The day I begin writing about unmetal things so obvious as "Oprah", "Martha Stewart" or "Meshuggah", I hope you have enough sense to stop visiting and reading my blog. Alas, I still feel a strong need to bury this one. I haven't attended a metal show yet where this form of dress was not worn by several young individuals; sweeping the grime off the beer and vomit-soaked concert floor wherever their big, silly goth kid pants dragged behind them. If someone hasn't already said it twice, I'll say it again, because it bears repeating: those big obnoxious pants you buy from Hot Topic are the least metal article of clothing on the planet.
This over-sized attire is often referred to as "bondage pants". Bondage pants are characterized as such, due to the chains and straps that are draped around, hooked, and sewn to each gargantuan pant leg. The terminology leaves me a bit puzzled, as the "bondage" that I have familiarized myself with doesn't typically require any pants at all. (Just a lot of rope and a scared Japanese girl.) Bondage pants take the chain wallet concept to the extreme: cut out the wallet, and just cover your pants with giant swinging chains. Everyone can hear you coming from yards away: the sounds of cheap fabric scraping against the floor under your skater shoes, chains and grommets jingling and clanging against one another, and a curse-laden dialogue so you can overcompensate for how tough and edgy you think you are. When I hear all of these things coming from around the corner, I turn and walk the other way. I want nothing to do with what your presence is about to offer me.The majority of these behemoth slacks are designed by the clothing company Tripp NYC. Tripp is an enormous fashion supplier for Hot Topic outlet stores here in the States. They design stupid looking jackets, lingerie, hats, shirts, pants, boots, you name it. If it's an article of clothing, Tripp NYC will figure out some way to make it in black and stick some handcuffs and grommets on it. Hot Topic offers a wide variety of ridiculous fashion, from goth to emo, hipster to "geek chic". You'll find some decent metal band shirts there, but every time I venture into the Hot Topic at my local mall to find such, I immediately regret it. The radio blares with crycore from opening to closing. I am half-heartedly greeted by some tattooed, pierced, pretentious scenester jerk off slumped behind the counter, putting off organizing the Insane Clown Posse shirts on the clearance rack like he's supposed to be doing. He then asks me if I need help finding anything. At this point, it's usually a gun. I digress...
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| This is what an ass that needs kicking looks like. |
Here are some defining characteristics of the types of individuals who wears bondage pants:
1. They thoroughly enjoy Invader Zim, or any other similar ADHD-fueled children's cartoon that involves 22 minutes of shrieking an episode.
2. They wear an over-sized, baggy band shirt or hoodie so they can keep up with their frumpy "pile of dirty laundry" look.
3. They love things that are "random" and describe themselves as such.
4. Slipknot is, and forever will be, the greatest band of all time. Ever...
5. Next to Tool of course.
6. They decorate themselves with other Hot Topic accessories, like studded wrist bands, beanies, etc.
7. www.vampirefreaks.com
With the exception of your occasional camouflage shorts, Heavy Metal is a jeans-only uniform. Black or blue, acid-washed, stone-washed, new or mangled, don't care. As long as you find that perfect, straight leg balance in between ghetto baggy and sister's pants tight. (Neither extremes are acceptable). In fact, jeans are so welcome and appreciated in the metal community, that the more denim you have on, the better. Ask any of your friendly thrash metal fans, and they will explain this concept to you thoroughly.
So don't make the janitor's life at the metal show any easier. Leave that pair of street sweepers at home and do everybody a god damn favor. Especially yourself...
I was sold at "GO HOME AND CHANGE".
ReplyDelete"They love things that are "random" and describe themselves as such." That quality may be the most annoying thing after the pants.
ReplyDeleteYou could probably rewrite this post with "Nightmare Before Christmas" as the tagline and still win.
ReplyDeleteThe more denim the better huh? So a Canadian Tuxedo is acceptable? Nice!
ReplyDeleteI remember even when I was a little lad that didn't know any better, I thought that those pants looked idiotic as fuck.
ReplyDeleteI actually have 3 of those in my closet. I've been trying to GIVE them away, and still no luck.
ReplyDeleteId take them off your hands no problem :)
DeleteThe same people that wear those pants are the same people who say they have no friends ... exactly ... the point is, they don't want friends, only a conversation starter because if they wanted friends they would FUCKING CHANGE!
ReplyDeleteI agree with most things on here but you cant diss studded wristbands, there cool as fuck with the right amount if studs (personal I think 7 rows is the minimum). but those trousers are a fucking joke, one of my mates got a pair when we were just starting out in metal (we are tr00 now so it's all cool)and it's always been a good source of putdowns.
ReplyDeletei got a pair on right now, and no one said it was to be metal. its just to annoy all you ppl who cant accept ppl are differnt. why not blog about something like the 900 dollar pair of shoes that look like the 8 dollar pair at walmart. but the rest of it is true...wrist bands, www.vampirefreaks.com...all totally gay. like your trying to hard.
ReplyDeleteNothing says "Individualizing yourself" like a shitty pair of mass-produced cargo pants worn by millions of other trendy mallgoths. Of course for such like-minded chucklefucks, they're more concerned with looking different than thinking differently. Personally I don't see how being different matters, I would rather be myself than different. But if you're looking to individualize yourself, why not arrange some patches onto a denim vest? Get creative, go nuts.
DeleteIf by "different" you mean "looking like all the other millions of mall goth kids", then yeah, I see what you're saying.
ReplyDeleteTry learning the difference between to, too, and two. And no, he's totally not trying enough. Hot Topic pants are universally known for not being metal, "in," or "cool." (Don't) get caught on an escalator.
ReplyDeleteJoe: Tr00 metal.....really....anyone truly metal or with a sense of metal-dignity wouldn't use that term, either you're metal or you're not. I can understand how simple beginnings lead us at first down paths we know now not to take, and this is just one instance.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: The journey to originality doesn't start at buying clothes at what is basically a goth depot store. Don't sully this blog with your whiny bullshit in an attempt to justify your quest to find yourself. We know you can do it Anonymous, we have faith in you...
Who's we?
ReplyDeletei actually LOVE tripp pants, i wear them all the time. i hate hot topic though, its gotten way to mainstream (they sell fucking justin bieber shirts UGH). i wear them cause i like and enjoy skulls, chains and scary stuff so naturally i LOVE tripp pants! people need to stop judging PANTS. to be honist i wear them to piss mother fukers like you off. i dress how i want becuase its more fun and intresting then dressing normal. simple as that. i enjoy metal music aswell. im not aa poser im just being myself and if you dont like it FUK OFF
ReplyDeletePS: tripp nyc started way back in the 80s and is a legit punk fashion brand. cant blame you for thinking otherwise though becuase hot topic as gotten LAME latley. but tripp makes some cool clothes
I agree with u!!!!!!
Deleteand I just randomly found this and think its so dumb that people are making a big deal about if Tripp pants is metal enough to wear, its only pants!!!!! lol what ever happen not judging a book by its cover?>
I use to love them, but Hot Topic has changed and I dont really like going there anymore. But still like wtf there pants the pants doesnt make the person I just dont know why all of this is such a big deal you should whatever u want without people being a diva over it.
0/10
ReplyDeleteWho brings up "legit punk fashion" on a metal blog? Really? That's like negative 0/10.
ReplyDeleteNow hold on since when did metal become about what kind of pants you wear? Now if I'm at a Behemoth or Putrid Pile show and I see some kid wearing those pants their is no reason for me to look down on him, their pants, what you should notice is the kids got good taste in music. And yes I have seen guys in Tripp pants at shows like Putrid Pile, Devourment, and Dying Fetus, and most of those guys seemed real cool while we spoke, Metal isn't fashion Metal is music.
ReplyDeleteeven though im a huge fan of these types of pants, i will agree that they are ridiculously baggy, i always wear them as shorts to concerts or whatever, i never wear the bottoms on them. but i definatly agree with the rest of this.
ReplyDeletealright so im gonna try not to be a redundant dick here but i thought the whole point of metal music was for the MUSIC. i will agree, those people are ass holes, but i dont feel like my musical tastes dictate how i dress. Do people that listen to classical music criticize each others dress clothes?? but hell what do i know
ReplyDeleteSo the pants are cool because the company was a legitimate punk fashion label in the 80's? You seriously need to do some more research, boss. Bondage pants came about in the 70's as a tie in to kink/erotic scenes that were closely associated with Malcolm McClaren's Sex Shoppe. McClaren then went on to assemble the Sex Pistols, who were the first punk band to SELL OUT. Then bondage pants became a staple of punk fashion and lost the sexual tie in, because punks really don't have sex too often, nevermind kinky sex where people are tied up. Even then, the bondage pants that Tripp first produced were super tight plaid or black pants and you would hold them up with with a belt of rings in which you could tie more straps to them or hang a bum flap from them so when you were squatting on the street looking super punk, your ass wouldn't get too dirty.
ReplyDeleteThe Tripp pants of today however, are nylon JNCO jeans with zippers and neon stitching. These pants are for RAVERS. Most of you people that wear them don't even know what a rave is because you were born in 1992. Some ravers also enjoyed Industrial, which is NOT METAL. Sorry to all you Ministry, Nine Inch Nails, and Rammstein fans. As rave culture went on the out, the douche bags needed a scene to turn to, so they obviously went the route of Korn, Limp Bizkit, ICP, Slipknot, and Disturbed. None of these groups or their associated acts are metal.
Now it's perfectly fine to not dress the way a metalhead is supposed to dress. Personally I don't bother with any specific uniform. But dressing like a douche and then crying about it when someone makes fun of you is not metal. When I was a punk back in the day, people would say things about my clothes. But I didn't whine about it. I said Fuck You and then shoved them into a locker.
Stop wearing raver pants or at least get the balls enough to fight for em you pussy.
I originally was going to say some pretty nasty things about Tripp pants. But I can't lie and say I haven't worn them before. I did when I was 15, once or twice even. At the time, I was frequenting the rave scene. I'm still an electronic music fan, and I find myself torn between thinking they are completely ridiculous and being envious of people who can pull off insane dance moves while wearing them.
ReplyDeleteI can't dance worth a shit, and seeing people do it in Tripp pants boggles my mind. I'm just not that coordinated. All I can really say is, keep them at the raves where they may still be cool.
But don't bring them to a metal show. If you are unsure if your clothing is appropriate for wherever you are, just remember that jeans and a t-shirt are probably the most neutral attire for almost any scene.
Yeah, I can't imagine how anyone would feel ok going out in such a pair of potato sacks, plus they make you look like a lego figure when you walk around...
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha! Nice; over several of your 'violations' posts, you just keep ringing more and more true, and doing so with style. Hot Topic just shut down in my local mall, and it was a momentous occasion. Unfortunately, every time one of those Goth Gaps close, 3 more open. And FYI, everything's not black anymore. Now it's black and NEON. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!! I have to keep the laughs in and not wake up everyone.......i have never seen them in person at shows thankfully, but i have seen them on DVDs of shows (wtf those are emo goth pants!) and why are they baggy? That's a hip hop thing, with the chains? Are you some bdsm wacko? WTF? Hearing they are $80, how is spending that much on jeans Metal? Ta hell is wrong with these people. Nailed it all down, HT, vampirefreaks, nightmare before xmas, suicide girls, all that shit. I will proudly say i've only been to HT about twice, once i was dragged by the kids i knew in high school, the other time was looking for a plain chain wallet since i couldn't find an online place to buy one. But there was this really fucking hot chick who worked there, my my does it pay to be a poser!?!?......
ReplyDeleteExplain to me how wearing big pants are metal? ....... yeah, i swear the people who write these are complete geniuses :D
ReplyDeleteI wear them, but have never thought about them being metal or not, that shit doesn't really bother me. Either way, I guess I should somehow defend my fashion. I think the picture you provided at the end is a gay mall goth in any case. Regardless of that, i haven't watched cartoons since I was a small babe. I think that Vader (Slipknot is a copy of Mushroomhead, I think) is the best band ever followed by Death. If the VampireFreaks URL is something about Twilight, that is by far the most idiotic fuckin franchise to be made yet. Also, I don't wear all the Hot Topic accessories because it's overpriced bullshit. The baggy shirt is so I don't eventually outgrow it and I can continue wearing my '09 Mayhem Fest t shirt. The random thing is something I don't feel like attacking because it would require some to think outside the box. Take this as you will, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
ReplyDeletehonestly why the hell does everybody talk shit about what everybody else is wearing. if they wanna wear it who the fuck are you to judge them. music today has mostly become about fashion, i dont mean the music itself but i mean what people think the music is. they call it punk or emo or goth or shit like that. but guess what music is just music. some music is better than others but its all just music. i mean calling yourself a metalhead doesnt give you the right to judge others just by what they wear. i mean hell i wear tripps and i like them. but i dont wear them just because i listen to metal cause ive never thought of an article of clothing as a peice of music genre. i wear tripps, but i listen to all kinds of music like rap country hip hop techno and so on. as time moves on fashion and the way people see them change. i mean hell white people used to play that banjo and bottle music, now when you think of that type of music you think of coveralls right! but guess what there was alot of people who worked for a living as farmers, now if you seen them back then would you just straight out assume they listened to that type of music? no! because back then people had better things to do than judge others. today the fashion industry is the number one source of profit other than food and shit like that. thats because today all people think their better than the next guy. but their not. their all the same. so you cannot judge a person just because they wore some tripps to a behemoth concert because you just dont know them. and even if you did so happen to know who they were and what they were like and didnt like them, its not because their wearing tripps. so all you people talking shit about tripps need something better to do because no shit some other asshole is talking shit about you and judgeing you because of what your wearing. so if you disrespectful people out there are judgeing someone wearing tripps because their so called 'not metal' just remember that somebody else is doing the exact same to you. even though metal looks violent from an outside point of view doesnt meen the people are all assholes, ive been to alot of metal concerts and all the people i met there were fucken awesome. not because they were wearing a certain pair of pants or a certain shirt, but because they themselves were cool. every one of you who bag on other peoples choice of clothing dont deserve to listen to metal. cause metal is basically the only source of music that doesnt try and get people to wear a certain type of clothing because it looks like it suits the genre. you are truly undeserving people if you can go around and judge others by what they wear and think that you are superior to them because you "look metal" you cant look metal assholes, you can listen to it and you can enjoy it, but you just cant look it because thats just how metal is!
ReplyDeletemetal is music not clothes. I'd wear trip pants if I could and yes slipknot and tool are good but they're not my favorite I like a lot of different types of music cradle of filth breaking benjamin honestly i like some songs by ke$ha. The only time music involves clothes is shirts with the bands name on it. Tripp pants aren't for posers or for people who want to be "hardcore". They're for people that just like them end of story. Metal is one genre of music nothing more nothing less. And the reall posers are the ones that claim they're more metal because of the clothes they wear or because they hate all other genres, people like that need to get over themselves and remember what music is about: self expression. Not what you think everyone should be like
ReplyDeletealthough this blog is about a year old now, i just today stumbled upon it. the fact that you went into great detail to describe the type of people who wear these pants seem very "not metal" to me. what real metal head focuses on what someone else is wearing ? if you just don't like the pants, then that's your business but to stereotype EVERY person who wears these pants is kind of silly. that's like saying every person who wears wranglers are rednecks.
ReplyDeletejust now stumbled acrost this whole thing xD too bad i didn't know about it sooner. i was under the assumption it's not very metal to bitch and whine about stupid shit and just enjoy the music. if someone looks stupid to you, by all means laugh, i for one don't understand why guys wear skinny jeans... but bitching about shit not being how you like it is what teenage girls do. just keep that in mind =P
ReplyDelete"Regardless of that, i haven't watched cartoons since I was a small babe"
ReplyDeleteTa hell is wrong with you! Bugs Bunny is more Metal than you!
The pockets are too small! How are they even useful? Hell, I'd make my own shorts since pockets aren't important to people these days. They cost way too much to have pockets that small.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I have obsessions about clothing actually being functional.
I wear these but mine are way more simple, I usually take all the chains and stuff off, and I've never owned anything by TRIPP.
ReplyDeleteI never buy them in neon colors, that's for ravers. i've never thought about them being metal or not. I never ever wear them to metal shows, I always wear camouflage or cargo trousers to shows, and own a battle jacket, which I also wear to shows.
I don't think that wearing those pants makes me un-metal.
-Shrugs.- To each their own. To be frank, I'm not a fan of denim. But that's just me. This is the first article of yours I have read and it seems that you are focusing too much on shoving Tripp Pants onto Hot Topic racks. Hot topic doesn't even sell Tripp Pants anymore, at least not that I can find. It may not be "Metal", but it's not necessarily stupid. I love these pants due to their extreme comfort, and I admit that I enjoy having chains hanging from my pants. I also enjoy Invader Zim, minus the parts where everyone is screaming. In fact, maybe I just enjoy it because I think it is stupid.. That's a topic for a different conversation.
ReplyDeleteAll in all, you pose fair points, but I must retain my own beliefs. Good article, though. And I'm glad you are literate. It's a shame how few people can boast being able to tell the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. -.-;
Those pants are usually worn by Cyber goths anyhow. I don't see how what people wear makes them 'unmetal'. I'm sure you like being stereotypical about people, and deeming everyone 'unmetal' or 'fake' just because they wear a certain item of clothing, but you really shouldn't judge people like that. If metalheads wan't to wear these pants, let them. Why is it your problem? I don't see how you are a judge of what is metal and what isn't.
ReplyDeleteMetal is not based on the clothes you wear, hair you sport, or anything like that and anyone foolish enough to believe anything this blog says is just as foolish as long as the spirit is there the PERSON is metal I personally made a pair of pants like that before I even heard about tripp and I wear them because they are dark and like many have said before me they make all of you people that dislike them mad, so this article or what ever you bloggers call them is just fueling us even more so on that note... I thank all your critizism and like I said i where them but I am metal not the clothes. (I will admit this last part was hard to get out so if it makes little sense I am sorry)
ReplyDeleteI like them as shorts (the lower legs zip off), but to me, as long pants they just look silly.
ReplyDeleteWow... So much anger over PANTS... Fucking PANTS! They are pants. Who cares when they came out? Who cares what you think about them? It is obvious that people have opinions. They are assholes just like you, and everyone who posted on this site. Even including ME! Yeah, I'm an asshole. I'm an ass that wears those pants. I like them because they are comfy. Not because It makes me feel BIG about myself. I wear them because I LIKE them. I wear big ass sweatshirts too. Wanna know why? Because I CAN. I don't give two shits what you think of me. Insult me after the comment is posted. See If I care. I don't and wont. By the way, I'm LUKAS LEO FLORY in case it comes up as 'ANONYMOUS'. So go fuck yourself you weak piece of shit. Wear your all denim clothing. I don't care, because I'm not an IDIOT. If you hear the chains around the corner and the scraping of the jeans, CONFRONT THE BITCH. Quit being a pussy and writing on a BLOG and say something WITH SOME FUCKING TESTICLES. That is all. :D
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of testicles, your name lacks masculinity. Be intelligent, and stop using caps, you dancing fairy of a faggot.
DeleteIt's not about metal, it's got nothing to do with being different. People like what they like and no one asked for your opinion anyways. If you don't like them, don't wear them, I'm sure you've got something in your closet that someone else thinks is ridiculous but you don't see a stupid blog about it.
ReplyDeleteeven when i was a 12 year old in bright pink tartan jeggings and a bullet for my valentine t-shirt i still thought that those pants were fucking gay.
ReplyDeleteall you guys are dumbasses worrying about what someone wears or shops at. do you not have a hobby or maybe even a LIFE??? seriously, stop bitching about stupid shit bunch of fucking poseurs and i really wanna put any emphasis on poseur. and as far as slipknot goes theyre fucking gayyyyyyy......
ReplyDeleteHumorous post indeed. One point I disagree with, however, is that these pants aren't being sold as much these days (I should take into account that I live in NY, and that the Hot Topic's here sell 'Lil Wayne T-shirts). Hot Topic has become quite..."eclectic." I hate to say it, but it's true (at least here). But rarely do I find these goth pants, and, yes, I've been looking. It is definitely not a stereotype that I want to fully embody, nevertheless, I am a fan of black. My musical tastes vary, and, it may be downright blasphemous to say that most of the metal I listen to--with the exception of Metallica and Anthrax--is Nu-Metal (but NOT Linkin Park...sometimes Limp Bizkit, though). But, Mudvayne, to me, is a great band (preferably the album L.D. 50). There are many caveats, you see.
ReplyDeleteMy point wasn't to merely disagree, or show how wrong this post is, just for the sake of being an asshole (see others below). I respect metalheads, punks, and utilitarian style in general, which is what it may all boil down to in the end. Emo's and goths dress in a self-deprecating way, and so do those skanky scene/cyber goth people. Their lives are about dancing, and yes, as you stated, Invader Zim. It's hugely disgusting in my book. People who keep saying "random" and "ocd" need to find a copy of (another acronym approaches) the DSM.
Growing up through the 90's probably took its toll on me, but I try my best to not appear as one stereotype. You have to make your style your own. In any case, keep on posting, I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. And, unlike most of your contemporaries, you actually have a mastery of the English language and its grammatical conventions. Rock on, brother.
am i the only person on the face of the planet who isnt emo/hot topic/ whatever who has always liked this style of pants and actual wants a pair????
ReplyDeletenop i'm right there with you. I love them but I hate hot topic. It's a preference of what you like to wear.
DeleteWow this big of a argument over tripp pants. I own quite a few pairs but it's not all that I wear. I'm not metal i'm just me. What you wear doesn't classify who you are or what music you are into. For everyone that doesn't like tripp pants don't buy them. duh. And if you don't like Hot topic don't walk in the store. Instead of bitching about what everyone is wearing how about keep your disrespectful comments to yourself. You act like if someone dresses the opposite of you that they are wrong or have bad taste. That just makes you more ignorant. Everything is a fad. You can't buy those tripp pants barely anymore because they are not in style. The sad part is the ones taking all of their time trying to worry about commenting what other people are doing or wearing are the most pitiful of us all. And get your shit straight tripp pants aren't metal they are material made into pants dumbass :)
ReplyDeleteMESHUGGAH IS AWESOME. HOW DARE YOU.
ReplyDeleteIf anything they let your balls hang and are comfortable as fuck. So if i wear ass- less chaps and a jean jacket id be more metal? I agree they are overly expensive but if you can find some for cheap why not. Wouldn't wear em to a show cus they would sweep up anything you walk over. Metal is music, not fashion so this blog sucks from the start.
ReplyDelete