Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sonic Syndicate is a Band of Butthurt, Unprofessional Fairies

When Sonic Syndicate reads this blog, they are also going to write a song about it.

Hail to all, my faithful warriors of metal! I have only just returned from a splendid vacation of sun and surf in the Bahamas, to see that some friends of mine had left me some very interesting facts about a post I wrote last week, regarding a massive sit-down rebellion I staged with fellow metalheads during an Amon Amarth show where Sonic Syndicate was playing a few years ago. (If you missed the article, click here.)

Long story short, Sonic Syndicate is a Swedish screamo band that back in late 2007 made the mistake of opening for Amon Amarth, (arguably one of the hardest melodic death metal acts of all time) in Worcester, Massachusetts. They received their just desserts, as little more than half the crowd attending actually sat down on the floor for the entirety of their set. In doing so, we had hoped we would make at least a minor ding to the armor of their confidence as a band. I had no idea, being unable to interpret the vocalist's broken English, and their tenacious ability to play on at the time, just how upset the incident actually made them. The chainmail of their professionalism was utterly shattered by the massive mace that was our reaction as an audience. We broke their weak, Swedish little hearts. 

I know I'm very critical of the music that I don't like personally, and god knows I'm going to brutally fault you for liking or playing anything that I don't like. But let's be real here: I'm just some asshole. Who cares? To quote Tom Dare from a recent Metal Hammer blog: "If the huffing and puffing of trolls can knock you down, you must have built your house of straw."  (Click here to read his article, Blogs of War: Bands Vs. The Internet). Life is just like that sometimes. Haters - after all - gonna hate. God knows I have my share, being quite the avid hater myself. We do it for the lulz, it's just how we roll. Delicious, memorable, epic lulz come in the form of one thing: a reaction. Reactions are how you "feed the trolls" so to speak. If you are in a performing rock band, are signed to a major record label, and have a faithful following of fans and album buyers, you don't let this kind of stupid crap get under your skin enough to react to it. Yet it got under Sonic's skin. Way deep. 

I'd like to direct the court's attention to Exhibit A: a song off Sonic Syndicate's second major release under Nuclear Blast, "Love and Other Disasters". The song is titled; "Hellgate: Worcester". (As opposed to Hellgate: London? Who the hell knows.) You can hear the song by clicking here. Good luck listening to it. The lyrics, are as follows:

You are an inspiration to us all
Armed with your plastic sword
A narrow mind and limited brain capacity
What I don't understand is
Why you revere a guy
Who's lacking an eye and never really existed

Tell me where's the sense in this?
(Why can't you open your minds)
Tell me what's the meaning of this
(Lose lose situation)
I feel for your god of war
Your fairer expenses
Must be insane with the mount you got in your garage
Don't you get me wrong
Cause I'm still impressed
By the bastardization between a horse and a spider

Tell me where's the sense in this?
(Why can't you open your minds)
Tell me what's the meaning of this
(Lose lose situation)
Maybe you should be the one who sacrificed an eye
To gain the wisdom you so badly require

Your savage agitation won't break us, can't break us
Just sit tight and watch our power grow stronger

My "savage agitation won't break you"? You silly man, it just did. I tore your shit asunder. Sonic Syndicate wrote a song about what happened to them in Worcester, Massachusetts. 

By actually going so far as to write a song about the incident, all you did was validate our actions. We got to you, plain and simple. What we did ate at your insides so painfully, hurt your fragile, pathetic feelings so much that you had to write a song about it to get it off your chest. It's like I'm a bully on the playground and I shove you down just because I like to watch you cry; and to encourage me, you cried on cue. You sobbed and bawled and wailed in the form of a song, where you lash out at us for being the big mean bullies we were. Didn't your mothers ever teach you that the best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them?

I barely want to even get into how much this song sucks, lyrically and musically, because it doesn't matter half as much as the fact that it exists. It's also, too easy a target. For starters, I'm a guy who listens to Amon Amarth, not a devout Norse pagan. There is, believe or not, somewhat of a difference. Making fun of Odin a lot doesn't really cut me as a guy who went to a concert in Worcester, so much as its an attack on the lyrics of a superior band that invited you to tour with them in the first place. Real professional. Second, I don't know what realm of existence Sonic Syndicate hails from where the only reason people would think their music sucks is because they are "narrow-minded" or have a "limited brain capacity". I think you're a generic, scream-the-verse-croon-the-chorus, cliche, overdone Killswitch Engage knock-off with too poor a grasp on the English language to be writing lyrics in it. I guess having anything other than a positive opinion of your cookie cutter metalcore band makes me a stupid, close-minded person.

I'll admit, my competency in the Swedish language is all but non-existent. I will however, promise to all my European readers out there, if I was going to start writing in Swedish, I would learn it first. I wish I could say mascara wearing vocalist, Richard Sjunnesson had the same kind of respect when he made his announcement about leaving the band last November:

"Hmph!"
“There are only so many arguments of the ‘scary’ screaming vocals to be or not to be in various songs I’m willing to take. Seeing how there was even demands to the band (behind my back) of songs without screaming vocals and how they were later obvious downplayed in the mix might very well have been the deathblow to my emotional attachment of the band. On the other hand, that made this decision very easy for me. It allowed me to go on in life with stuff that feels more important, things that actually manage to stir my heart.”

I'll do my best to translate this, but bear with me, I don't have a lot to work with. I guess Sjunnessonomississippi didn't agree artistically with the fact that the band doesn't want to do screamo vocals anymore, and that, he says, "will simply not fly with this crow". I guess the band arguing and the painful memory of that one group of fans being really rude at that one show he performed at in one state of America a couple years ago really was really just too much for Sjunnessonolopolis to handle.

So this is a personal message to Sonic Syndicate: I am the man responsible for what happened in Worcester those years ago. I was the man who opened that Hellgate at Worcester. Comment furiously on my blog below, because it is evident you are not above doing so, and every stupid little thing said and done with negative connotations towards you and your shitty band is enough to warrant a song-sized reaction. 

37 comments:

  1. mightyvishuni!!!!wienies!!!!!1/23/2011 4:51 PM

    I wish I was at that show. ppeeee peee peeee, pooop ppooooopp,
    wieners,
    this band is wienies in a can,
    pee pee pooop ppoooooopp,
    i wrote this song for you, nuuu nuu noooohhhh,
    weeping birth!!!!!!

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  2. you are nothing but an egocentric narcissitic troll
    seriously : GET OVER YOURSELF !

    btw i don't like sonic syndicate nor that viking make believe band

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  3. seriously: no.

    btw i don't like your favorite band

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  4. Anon can't even be a big boy and capitalize where necessary.

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  5. I'm not going to fault somebody for their lack of proper grammar, spelling, or punctuation. This is the internet after all, and me doing it personally makes everyone think I need to "get over myself". What really puzzles me is the addition that he doesn't like either band I mentioned in this article. He just wants to tell me I'm full of myself just to say it to me. I haven't faulted him or insulted him personally in anyway, his opinion of music a complete mystery to me, and therefore, unscatched by anything I would have to say. He has no motivation or vindictive reason to come on to this page and speak foul to me. What does that make him? I guess we have found ourselves in a "look who's calling the kettle black" situation.

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  6. I enjoy the fact that Anon felt opinionated enough to comment. However, if one feels so compelled to speak he or she should substantiate such opinions. I guess that is too logical and he or she probably has an intellectual capacity similar to a second-grader. In any case, a blog is meant to be opinionated and egocentric, therefore; if someone comes to this page looking to find unbiased information, they are in the wrong place and should try reading a newspaper. What's that, newspapers have a bias, too? Oh, that's right, everyone is biased, has opinions, and predispositions. Get over it, start a blog of your own where you call us a bunch of genital-gagging homosexuals and whine about your meaningless life if you wish; in any case, I won't read it.

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  7. /Agree that SS is doodoo butter. Even in 2007, they were on their demise. I haven't seen decay this fast in any other band that I can remember. But,if you check their first album (Eden Fire), they managed to make what I thought was a good MDM release (see: Misanthropic Coil). After hearing previously stated song, I looked into more and saw burn this city. I started listening and my cock just about inverted. Anyway, good riddance of the guy who probably cried his way into getting them to screamo pop garbage in the first place and was trying to go even lighter than that.

    Too bad the bass guitarist is kinda cute. I always root for attractive females to exist in the metal world, but these guys are no longer on that planet to me, nor have they been for quite some time.

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  8. you're such a douche!
    1) Sonic Syndicate are a Melo/Death Metal band, not a Screamo.
    2) Amon Amarth are a Viking Metal band, not a Melo/Death Metal band.
    3) according to an interview from SS, Amon Amarth actually picked them to tour with them.

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  9. 1) If SS are melodeath, so are Atreyu. Have you heard their music?
    2) Viking Metal is a lyrical theme. Not a subgenre, genius.
    3) Slayer was okay with touring Marylin Manson. Who gives a shit? It doesn't make the other band suck any less.

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  10. if ss are melodeath, atreyu is brutal death metal.

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  11. Hi Craig. How are you? I don't know how to say this but I'll say it anyway. Sonic Syndicate is no longer a melodeath band you fucktard if they ever truly were. Have you not listened to the latest album?

    Also Amon Amarth does not consider themselves Viking metal but death metal and their songs are more melodic then the early albums therefore making them (gasp) melodeath now.
    Try reading Wikipedia a little less and actually listening to music more. It's stunting your ability to function otherwise.

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  12. WorcesterPalladiumang4/17/2011 6:10 PM

    I can say that I was actually at this show. I'd post the picture I have on facebook but facebook doesn't allow hotliking anymore. First of all I doubt any one person started the sitting ovation. However I will say that it was well deserved and it is one of my favorite concert memories.

    I had always give a little respect to Sonic Syndicate for continuing to play through the barrage of jeers and middle fingers, but I just learned of the song and I think that is such a bitch thing to do and what little respect I had just flew out the window.

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  13. WorcesterPalladiumang4/17/2011 6:13 PM

    HAHA!, I actually just read the original article here on this blog and I'm the guy in the first picture with Red Sox hat and leather jacket, I shit you not.

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  14. Seems like the dude writing this article criticizes the band for responding with a song in response to their negative experience, but when a commenter doesn't agree he feels the need to defend himself by commenting. Seems like that's the real case of the pot calling itself black/butthurt.

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  15. Richard actually has written that "Briefly after our set begun that day the entire pit sat down flipping us off, which was kind of entertaining. We just played on, and couldn’t really care less. We would get paid anyway, and saw it as a bad day at work, I guess. When we wrote LOAD later on, I wrote a text about it as a satire to the event. It’s utterly absurd if you take it serious, so don’t."

    So it seems like they didn't take it as an insult, only entertaining. Your effort of insulting them or whatever you had in mind failed.

    And second thing, Richard left the band because of the album called We Rule The Night. He was happy with that LAOD album which came out ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO :D You should check your facts before you make an effort of writing this long story about a band that you are not so familiar with.

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  16. I'm really pumped to see that Metal Sucks shared a post I wrote in the beginning of the year, so now I have to keep winning at an argument I won 5 months ago.

    Joseph: Haha, okay? See the big difference between me and Sonic Syndicate is I'm just some asshole on the internet, where as they are this massive Swedish mallcore group signed to a major record label that let a couple jerks from one city in a different country get way under their skin. Not really the same. Also, I'm hardly "responding" to the song. This isn't a debate with Sonic Syndicate. I'm gloating. We already won this fight. Who writes a song about one mean audience and puts it on a studio release?

    Batistin: First of all, the day I let somebody who listens to "A Day to Remember" school me, will be the day my cock turns orange and starts singing Tiny Tim tunes. I know plenty about the situation, because unlike you, who is going completely off some quotations you saw on the internet, I was actually at the show. The band was PRETTY upset. They can say what they want, but here's what me and the rest of my buds at the show accomplished: 1. They cursed us out in broken English and stormed off stage. 2. They got butt hurt enough to write a song about it. Like I said, validating trolls comes in the form of one thing: a reaction. Case in point: I'm reacting to your stupid ass. So congrats on that one.

    Also, I couldn't give less of a fairy dick why Sjunessonanousenphone left his shitty, talentless metalcore hack group. I definitely didn't say it was because of that one album with the aforementioned song. I merely speculated that getting so butthurt about one 15-minute set in one city they played in made him so impossibly depressed that he couldn't handle the stress of playing in a shitty band anymore.

    Have a pleasant day you two.

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  17. So you're just another kid without any knowledge how to argue. What does ADTR have to do with this conversation? :D You're not making any sense, just trying to insult or whatever. I have my opinions about your amon amarth but it has nothing to do with this.

    And my info is not based only on quotes. I've talked with Richard about this show by email and yes they were surprised about the audience's attitude, but the situation actually was amusing. No one can take that kind of things too seriously. The song was named and made with humor, just like many other band's lyrics.

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  18. Oh excuse me. I had no idea you were such good buddies with the man himself. :D See, when you copy and paste direct quotes from his blog that everyone and anyone can read, it leads me to believe otherwise. :D Also, what's with all the smilies? Am I arguing with a 14-year-old girl?

    I only insult to clearly indicate that I have no respect for you or your opinion, so you can fully realize you are wasting your time. Welcome back to the blog by the way, really appreciate the hits. So fine, I'll put your taste in music aside and restate to you what I said before, because you seem to be getting really confused here. This shit happens to bands, and you're right about them not taking seriously. They get booed. They get bottled, they get insulted. They shrug it off and move on. Not Sonic Syndicate. They wrote a song about it, lashing out at the people who did it, and exhibited the professionalism and composure of toddlers. If they didn't take this seriously, they wouldn't have done anything about it. They can say all they want, and claim that they thought it was funny, but I have enough of a quarter of a brain to realize that's bullshit. They're downplaying their clearly hurt feelings.

    E-mail your pal Richard and tell him to blow me.

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  19. Also to build on the unprofessional point: They failed at making fun of the concert goers, and instead tried to insult a band that allowed them a chance to get some exposure.

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  20. Argumentum ad nauseam...

    And btw. it feels kinda funny that you're conversating here if you don't respect other people's opinions.

    And I can't say I'm good pal with Richard. He simply interacts pretty much with his fans, including me. And you know what they looked like during the concert, but I guess he knows better how the band felt about the concert after it.

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  21. I can talk to people I don't respect. I do it everyday. Otherwise I would hardly get to talk to anybody.

    The only person making the argument repetitive is you. I'll repeat myself one last time, in greater detail hoping you'll understand. You refuse to believe that SS is lying about how they felt about the situation. They are. It's very clear to me how they felt about it because they wrote a song about it. Period. They can say what they want, but anybody with half a brain can figure out we got to them. There is no arguing that a band is quite literally, supposed to be above a crowd. If a crowd heckles, you move on in life and don't worry about it, it's part of being an entertainer. When Sonic Syndicate wrote a song about our actions, we brought them down to our level, our spears of hate easily reached them up on their pillar, and knocking them down to where they had to try and heckle us back.

    When's the last time a band wrote a song about what you and a bunch of your jerk friends did? Exactly. It doesn't happen. Sonic Syndicate are the biggest pussies in hard rock.

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  22. I have to admit that I lost my interest in reding your comment after few first sentences. I really thought that this site was worth visiting but seems like I was wrong. Have a good life with your world of cynicism and misanthropy. Hope you get over with it.

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  23. Por Que no Taco5/16/2011 7:32 PM

    HA! batistin got butt hurt and left. Fail. He just can't admit that his favorite band are cry babies. way to fail again.

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  24. That awkward moment when Batistin gets owned.

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  25. Cool story bro, no seriously, this is important to you?

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  26. Tough guys in the internet... You hurt my feelings so deeply :D

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  27. Oh dear, i was at that tour, in some larger venue here in LA called the Avalon Club, i was just checking out the joint so didn't really pay attention to them. I remember coming up on the 2nd floor and seeing the singer with his skate shoes and getup look like he was rapping on stage and the chick was hopping the whole time, i was like "wtf is this warped tour shit?" Kinda made AA look bad, but then i thought hey they're Swedish, plus they're cool dudes and you have labels get involved, maybe they were just being nice by bringing them over.....when i see people flipping off a band i just cringe, i'm embarrassed for everyone and just wish it would end.

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  28. Dude that was a great post. I don't really give a shit about either band, but i did find your post very funny. I personally get tired of all the genre talk. Who the hell cares? It either rocks or it doesn't. You guys sitting down at the show is just priceless. That is such a great idea. Good work. Someone needs to let these fuckers know they suck or else they will always suck. Someone has to be the bad guy for the bands own good. Do you really think Pantera never made shitty music. WRONG Go get metal magic and listen to ride my rocket if thats your stand. Somone has to bew honest with them or they will never evolve. Good job.

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  29. batistin only wants to conversate about how good Sonic Syndicate is and how Richard's ex-member feels so good. Unfortunately, he forgets that "conversating" doesn't exist and that we can "rede" through his bullshit. Once again, another person misses the point.

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  30. I believe batistin is SS.

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  31. brenocide is a butthurt faggot !

    end of story

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  32. My friend, you are a credit to the true metal fans out there. Well fucking done, 'cause I wish I was there. :D

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  33. hello fancywordpplz, maybe they did write a song about that event a few years ago , still I hardly think anyone except your fanboys care about this site at all :D u hate to much I wonder why

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  34. Think this is troll but not sure......I'll bite. Expand that mind of yours just a little, you CAN enjoy SS and those other bands at the same time. Newer SS is garbage however......so i guess we are all entitled to our opinions haha. Checked out "The Unguided" by chance? It might be more your taste and still has 3 of the origional members of SS.

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  35. The author of this article is just another 'true metal' keyboard warrior, of which there are many. Either that or he is just a troll. In any case, nobody gives a shit what music he likes or dislikes. He can listen to his viking music all he likes. He probably resents Sonic Syndicate and similar bands because they are more commercially successful than the bands he listens to. The way he tears bands to shreds in his articles is more a reflection on his own insecurities. In fact, I'd hazard a guess that he was the one being picked on by the school-yard bullies he refers to. Listening to viking music and writing scathing articles is probably his way of venting unresolved childhood anger. It makes him feel powerful when, in reality, he is far from it.

    Sonic Syndicate was (prior to their latest effort) awesome. There are plenty of people who would agree with me, and few of them would give a rat's ass about what some loser has to say on his little internet blog.

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  36. And no, Richard did not leave because of "Hellgate Worcester". He left because of We Rule The Night, even if you are a Sonic Syndicate fan (like me), you can agree it's by far their worst album. Can't call it metal myself. Still, I enjoy half of the songs there.

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.