The Big 4: The Big Disappointment

An advertisement designed flawlessly with the intention of disappointing everyone.

Ever since I first became a heavy metal fan as a wee lad, I've been engaged with someone in a conversation or have overheard a similar conversation regarding just how supreme it would be if Metallica and Megadeth put their differences aside after all these years, and shared a stage for one, epic monster tour. There was always the inevitable turn the conversation would take, as the biggest dreamer would fabricate a roster that not only included Metallica and Megadeth together, but all bands of "The Big 4" of American thrash metal: Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth and Metallica.

We would then share a big laugh and a heavy sigh. This was nothing short of an impossibility at the time. Megadeth frontman, Dave Mustaine's severe egotism and alcoholic nature has led to a feud being raised wherever there could be one in the heavy metal community. Slayer guitarist, Kerry King and Mustaine have been each other's throats for years. I also hardly need to mention the emotional circumstances in which Dave Mustaine was cast out of Metallica, which he apparently never got over. 

Then, in 2010, thanks to a combination of maturity and sobriety, half of our prayers were answered. King and Mustaine put their years of poison words behind them and co-headlined in the North American Carnage Tour, along with fellow American thrash metal giants, Testament. As a way to keep their towering egos in check, the two bands alternated back and forth between which ones would close each night. On the second leg of the tour, Anthrax joined the run. The dream was 3/4 true. We only needed one more band to make it a glorious reality, but I feared that as one of the highest selling metal acts of all time, Metallica had become too big and too proud to consider going along with the dreams of the fans. The impossible was then at last achieved: For seven European shows, Metallica headlined along with Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax. I was so thrilled that such a thing was even possible, that I almost didn't even care about not being able to attend.

Now it's our turn. As the country of their birth, these bands owe us this much. This is the kind of band roster that has been the content of a hands-clasped plea from the fans for decades now. We've been buying their albums, concerts tickets, shirts, other merchandise, and have been singing their praise for years. The very least they could do is give us what we want every once in a while. We've seen the teaser fliers, and today's the day they announce the North American dates! Drum roll please...

NEVER MIND.

One show. In one place. A place that so happens to be on an opposite coast from me and millions of other fans. Thanks. Thank you so fucking much.

I don't care if they originally hail from California. I don't care if they're big bands. This is nothing short of inexcusable. How could this have happened? The hateroade between all bands has all but run dry. We saw with our own eyes that Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax were perfectly capable of touring all those dates together last year without issue. They all did it together with Metallica in Europe for seven shows. Why do we, only get this bone thrown at us? Why do they think one festival in one part of America is enough to satiate our appetite? In the distance I would have to fly to attend a show in California, I might has well have just flown to fucking Europe anyway. At least I wouldn't have to connect a flight going over the goddamn Atlantic ocean.

This is unforgivable. I'd try to stage a massive boycott, but I don't really need to. These Big 4 gaping assholes have boycotted themselves, by shunning the rest of the U.S and neglecting the millions of us that aren't going to be seeing this happen, they turned what could have been the greatest tour of all time into the greatest letdown in recent metal memory. Enjoy your show, "Indio". Wherever in California you are.

Comments are open to all as always! Feel free to share your anger below.