Friday, May 27, 2011

Mattasacre Dislikes Reality

One of the more common reasons I hear from Hardcore kids as to why they prefer Hardcore as a genre as opposed to Metal is that they would rather to listen to music that is “real” rather than music based on “a bunch of fairies and dragon slaying and stuff LOL.” I guess the fact that these people would rather deal with reality than fantasy explains why they enjoy such dull and monotonous music.

Ever heard the saying reality bites? There is a reason why that is. It’s because day to day existence is a tortuous cavalcade of crap and boredom, and if you're not bored out of you're skull, you're under constant pressure to please some suited asshat in a place you don't even like, working to become something you never wanted to be in the first place. I’m not sure about any of you, but the reason why I love Heavy Metal so much is that it helps me forget about the cavernous cesspit that is life. At its very worst, it at least gives me a vent for all my frustration so I don’t wind up on top of that clock tower again...

People that only want “real” stuff in their music are the kind of people who sit up till 2AM in the morning watching CNN and bore all their workmates to death trying to incited heated discussions about tax file number legislation. In other words, they are simply tedious company. I personally don’t watch the news. You want to know why? Because it’s always the same.

Seriously, if someone was cryogenically frozen in 1991 and thawed out tomorrow, I can imagine what their first conversation would be like:

FrozenDude: “Oh, wow I can’t believe it’s been 20 years. I can’t imagine how the world has changed in that time. Tell me doctor, how did the Gulf War end? Is there peace in the Middle East now?

DoctorDude: “Nah, shit’s still going down.”

FrozenDude: “Oh, ok... well, what about the economy? Surely the standard of living has improved and people earn more?”

DoctorDude: “Not really, everyone’s still scared of inflation and debt is at record highs.”

FrozenDude: “Well, what has changed in the twenty years I’ve been frozen?”

DoctorDude: “Hey, check out this video, it’s called Nyan Cat! Isn’t it funny?”

FrozenDude: “Yeah, you can just go ahead and put me back in the freezer now...”

I suppose keeping up with the news and ingesting every piece of bland, yawn inducing, buzz killing literature like it was God’s sweat, helps make these Hardcoredians feels superior. However, for all that book lernin’, it’s rather odd that most Hardcore bands can’t come up with a message any deeper than “I am angry at you...Grrrrrr.”

Let’s try a little visual association. I’m going to show you two images that could typically sum up Fantasy and Reality and let you decide for yourself which situation is more metal.

I hope this line hurries up, I have racquetball practice in an hour


If you agree with me, then there seems to be only one available course of action to regain your Metal pride. You need to drop everything you’re doing right now, and go out into the wilderness and swing a sword around.

If you disagree with me, please comment below. I’d love to hear about how metal your day to day reality is, and seeing as this is the internet, I’m obviously going to believe everything you say 100%.


P.S. I won’t making any submissions for a little while (at the rate at which I write, most of you won’t even notice anyway) as I need to take some time to sort some shit in my life out. Most definitely not metal.


  1. Take as much time as you need, broseidon. I'll keep it kvlt until you get back.

  2. Great post man. I definitely understand needing to sort life shit out. Mine's been getting chaotic at random intervals. Kinda metal, but not in an epic way.

  3. Annihilnation5/28/2011 12:00 AM

    You forgot about the countless 'songs' about their hard-ons for their 'off-the-hook' parties. And yeah, what they said. Life hits hard, so good luck.

  4. I could barely agree more. Reality blows, especially compared to the feeling you get from true metal. If reality was metal, the world would be a far greater (and less crowded) place. Good luck on your shit. Stay metal

  5. I don't much care for "hardcore" music, and I already swung my sword around, but fuck it. I'll do it again.

  6. Reality does not always blow. I'm currently living in a wooden cabin and working on a farm in the Jotunheimen mountains in Norway. My first visit to a Norwegian pub ended up with me having beers with Messiah, the original singer in Mayhem. The pub's jukebox was exclusively heavy fucking metal. Hardcore blows, and this post was real good. Hope your shit gets sorted man

  7. ^Norway is a myth.

  8. ^i couldn't agree more Trey.

  9. Neither do i, know what's funny is i'm reading Walden by Theraou (1850s or so) and he says the same fuckin thing! I don't need no stinkin newspaper, it's the same shit all the time, something happened, something unimportant. Someone was murdered, something fell on them and killed them, someone was robbed, why does he need to read that shit? Also one nice quote is something like "they built a telegraph between Maine and Texas, except Maine and Texas have nothing to say to each other!" :)
    Isn't it funny when the hardcore dudes give no reason to get those tats, then the defenders come in and say "it aint about fashion dawg!" and the lyrics are about partying with skanks, it's really "deep stuff man" which then leads to more money for tats, image and said partying with more skanks....../rant

  10. Seems to me is you dudes just dont know what true hardcore is. Since when is hardcore about partying with skanks? You fags need to get out more. Im pretty sure you idiots think hardcore is stuff like emmure and adtr.

  11. I know exactly what hardcore is "jondabudz". It's shit. Why would I want to know any more? But hey, I'm always, like, open to new ideas, oh wait no I'm not, if these ideas were halfway decent and not bullshit I would already have adopted them.
    Anyway, show us some "trv" hardcore. Please. I may as well know where it is appropriate to spit.

  12. real hardcore = D.R.I, Reagan Youth, Minor threat, etc. not the hot topic shit thats about partying with skanks

  13. NocturnalTerror5/01/2012 8:56 AM

    You've got to admit, punk bands have made some pretty good music, i.e. Integrity, Amebix, Black Flag, Rorschach, His Hero Is Gone, Tragedy etc.


All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.