Ever heard the saying reality bites? There is a reason why that is. It’s because day to day existence is a tortuous cavalcade of crap and boredom, and if you're not bored out of you're skull, you're under constant pressure to please some suited asshat in a place you don't even like, working to become something you never wanted to be in the first place. I’m not sure about any of you, but the reason why I love Heavy Metal so much is that it helps me forget about the cavernous cesspit that is life. At its very worst, it at least gives me a vent for all my frustration so I don’t wind up on top of that clock tower again...
People that only want “real” stuff in their music are the kind of people who sit up till 2AM in the morning watching CNN and bore all their workmates to death trying to incited heated discussions about tax file number legislation. In other words, they are simply tedious company. I personally don’t watch the news. You want to know why? Because it’s always the same.
Seriously, if someone was cryogenically frozen in 1991 and thawed out tomorrow, I can imagine what their first conversation would be like:
FrozenDude: “Oh, wow I can’t believe it’s been 20 years. I can’t imagine how the world has changed in that time. Tell me doctor, how did the Gulf War end? Is there peace in the Middle East now?
DoctorDude: “Nah, shit’s still going down.”
FrozenDude: “Oh, ok... well, what about the economy? Surely the standard of living has improved and people earn more?”
DoctorDude: “Not really, everyone’s still scared of inflation and debt is at record highs.”
FrozenDude: “Well, what has changed in the twenty years I’ve been frozen?”
DoctorDude: “Hey, check out this video, it’s called Nyan Cat! Isn’t it funny?”
FrozenDude: “Yeah, you can just go ahead and put me back in the freezer now...”
I suppose keeping up with the news and ingesting every piece of bland, yawn inducing, buzz killing literature like it was God’s sweat, helps make these Hardcoredians feels superior. However, for all that book lernin’, it’s rather odd that most Hardcore bands can’t come up with a message any deeper than “I am angry at you...Grrrrrr.”
Let’s try a little visual association. I’m going to show you two images that could typically sum up Fantasy and Reality and let you decide for yourself which situation is more metal.
FOR GLORY!
If you agree with me, then there seems to be only one available course of action to regain your Metal pride. You need to drop everything you’re doing right now, and go out into the wilderness and swing a sword around.
If you disagree with me, please comment below. I’d love to hear about how metal your day to day reality is, and seeing as this is the internet, I’m obviously going to believe everything you say 100%.
Mattasacre
P.S. I won’t making any submissions for a little while (at the rate at which I write, most of you won’t even notice anyway) as I need to take some time to sort some shit in my life out. Most definitely not metal.
