Tuesday, August 9, 2011

When There Wasn't Enough Metal on a Page Called "THAT'S NOT METAL" PART 2

As an elitist, it's only natural for me to stand atop an ivory pillar of pure metal might, that I myself have built miles above the heads of the rest of you pathetic mongrels. An opinion that is voiced on, in, near, around or about this blog that is not of my own, deserves about as much of a second thought from me as the sound of my turds kerplunking into a toilet bowl fortunate enough to be graced with the presence of my butt cheeks and lingering shit musk. It's no use, fools; I have the higher ground. I leave comments for my blog open under my posts, because I like to see my opinion presented exactly where it should be: standing high above a festering cesspool of border-line retarded complaints and undeniable butthurt. Without the assistance of sticky notes on your computer screen, your grammatically incorrect tirades will always literally find themselves beneath me.

Yet along with being the highest elite of the metal elite, I am also a philanthropist. I care about people, no matter how downtrodden and unmetal they may be. Just a moment ago, I squashed a fly beneath my thumb. He was so small, weak, stupid, insignificant and lived this life so void of reason or purpose, that I was instantly reminded of you guys, and I wanted to thank you all for the support! To show you my appreciation, I will continue your ongoing metal education with another post about metal bands I think are okay, as opposed to suck monkey taint.

In honor of tradition however, I need to follow the template of the last post about good metal bands, and take the time out of my busy schedule to grant the nobodies and their worthless views regarding me and my blog with their just rebuttals.

Last week I more or less reposted this obnoxious rant written by Burzum's Varg Vikernes about the atrocities that occurred in Norway last month, and didn't add much more than my own introduction, as well as some much needed photo captions. Other than that, I thought it was extremely unnecessary to add anything more to the article. Vikernes' rant was substantially lengthy on its own, and best of all, he needed no help from me in convincing people that he was out of his fucking mind. Here's one incriminating gem taken from said tirade:

"He is a Freemason too, and that certainly doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Freemasonry is international Jewry at it's worst; they too are working for a de-construction of all nations on Earth, and to build a global Hebrew temple, enslaving us all under the will of the Jews and their servants, the Freemasons. Well, this explains why he doesn't say a word about the creators of all the different religions and ideologies now set up to fight against each other."

"International Jewry at it's worst", eh? The last time I heard someone go on about "jewry", it was when I was still working in Nashville. It was this woman yacking away on her cell phone about her "boyfren" who bought her all sorts of "new jewry" and how she was "gon get mah hair did" and she didn't "curr how much it gon cost". I digress. So anyway, for whatever reason, anytime I bring up how much I think Varg or Burzum blows, I get this flock of disagreement from the folks that love his "DON'T CALL IT BLACK METAL" black metal sound, and even more bizarrely, the people that agree with him. Most notably, a repost of my repost was up on the Ultimate Guitar forums, which sparked this 5-6 page thread about the whole thing because these guys like to talk about stupid shit a lot more than actually playing the Gibson guitars they all claim to own/know how to play...

I guess I do indeed make it perfectly clear that I have an already negative opinion of Varg as a person and a musician, and that's the only reason I'm giving him a hard time about -- you know--  the things he says about Jews being evil. From your perspective, if I liked the guy's music from the get go, or started all this completely impartial to who he was or what he ever did, the whole demonizing of Jews thing would have been totally cool with me. Mother of Christmas shit, do you people ever -- I dunno -- read or anything? What's your excuse for being so void of standard human intelligence? Did your parents fail establishing your brain in the whole "thinking" department during your stages of early childhood development?

Here's another great argument I can formulate for you: eat all the babies. It will solve all the world's hunger problems as well as overpopulation. Two birds with one stone, right there. I'm making a strong case, but that doesn't make the idea any less bat-shit bonkers. Do you want to know how I know Varg Vikernes is out of his mind? Because he sat down and read a 1500 page manifesto written by Anders Behring Bevrik in order to "formulate an argument" like you say he's so great at. We're talking about the guy that bombed and shot dozens of defenseless people in Norway. Who the fuck would read anything a guy like that would write, much less 1500 pages of his delusional mania? I can only imagine the sort of things he thought and said would typically be written on a cement wall in human feces. "Riffmast" apparently didn't have a big enough wall, or enough excrement to go around, so he decided to write his particular take on all this on the UG forums instead:

I'm pretty much 1,000% positive what you are suggesting would create a lack of diversity and weaken the species, Charlie Brown. You must not have gotten a lot out of biology class since the teacher was all "wah wah, wah wah waaah." While we're on the subject, you should probably know that for the sake of our continuing evolution and strengthening of the gene pool, people as flat-out retarded as you should keep carelessly playing with their extensive gun collection. Don't bother saving them for the race war, turning one on yourself will make all of us winners.

Without further ado, here's a small handful of some random bands I was listening to in the last couple hours:

Angel Witch: I one time asked this guy I met what some of his favorite bands were. He gave me only four or five names at first, so I asked him again. Frustrated with his second list, I asked him one more time, optimistic that he would finally give me the right answer. After failing a third consecutive time, my next question to him was "where the fuck was Angel Witch in all that other crap?" He didn't even bother to answer, because he was too ashamed of how bad he just royally fucked up. I hope you're still out there ashamed about it, random dude at a show I didn't know. I guess we're all entitled to our opinion in music or whatever, but seriously? Angel Witch is a good opinion to have. Open your mind to some Angel Witch.

Axemaster: The 80's were glorious a time in true metal when all the best riffs were thought up, and more importantly, the best band names were taken. Case in point you have fucking Axemaster, who shortened their name from "fucking Axemaster" to just "Axemaster" after realizing that they didn't need to put the curse word in their band name for people to eternally refer to them only as "fucking Axemaster". Most people don't consider this, but a popular, yet nowhere near as good, Boston hardcore act that started in 2000 could have named their band after Axemaster's 1990 release, Death Before Dishonor. Coincidence? Probably. Watch the music video below and prepared to be disappointed in anything else you will do this week in comparison. Mustaches are now officially true metal mandatory. If you want to that is, not everybody likes mustaches, and that's okay I guess...

Gorerotted: Until their unfortunate breakup in 2008, English metallers, Gorerotted took death metal about as seriously as most anyone should. This song, for instance, is about being cannibalized by mentally retarded people. Song highlight/the highlight of all death metal ever (in my opinion that is) can be enjoyed from 0:51 to 1:05. The fact they actually assigned lyrics to whatever the fuck is going on there only makes it that much better.

Magic Kingdom/Iron Mask: Before I talk to you about the Belgian power metal bands, Magic Kingdom and Iron Mask, first let me introduce you to their common lead guitarist, Dushan Petrossi:

I mean, you can say what you want about the guy's guitar playing or whatever, but seriously, you simply can't deny that Petrossi definitely has his own unique style. I honestly can't think of a single other famous European shred guitarist with a banana yellow Fender Stratocaster, hair that big and poofy, an oddly rounded face, who also started to gain a good deal of weight in his later years and has a thing for chest-hair baring, low cut shirts, as well as playing blistering fast sweep arpeggios in a power metal band that sells itself using the guitarist's name. Nope. Nobody comes to mind right away. Anyway, Petrossi started out playing for Magic Kingdom, but decided that he needed to start a power metal band with a name that wasn't inspired by a Disney theme park. Iron Mask is another one of those pretty good power metal bands that you should give a listen to if you have a Power Metal station on Pandora Radio, and you're pretty happy with whatever comes up. You couldn't really tell where the first song ended and the last one began unless Grave Digger showed up in the middle of all of it somewhere, but you're still relatively pleased by the listening experience as a whole. 


Usually there's nothing more awkward to me then dudes with really short hair cuts wearing leather pants, but I guess Wolfchant makes up for it by being so swell at playing epic German pagan metal. Not to say you can't have short hair and still be metal, of course, but in my opinion just the short hair + leather pants combination does nothing but creep me out. To me personally, a dude with long hair seems sort of like he intends to be a bit of an extrovert in the first place (if not just lazy), so leather pants don't really phase you when they go along with the rest of his attire. However, if you have a hair cut that looks like the one you'd get before your big job interview at Best Buy, and still try to look metal as fuck wearing your bracers and black leather slacks, it does nothing but confuse people. I'm looking at you, Bruce Dickinson. Either you're reserved or extreme. Commit. What was I talking about again? Oh right. music, or something or whatever. Here's some of that:

As brought up before with Axemaster, back in the 80's and late 70's was when all the good band names were taken, leaving us now with all the sentence long atrocities we have to put up with these days. In 1979, during the greatest musical movement in the history of the world, (the New Wave of British Heavy Metal), there was a little band from Newcastle, England that had the right mind to jump on the name that everybody else wanted, but assumed was already taken, so didn't bother. I speak of course of "Satan". You can't get more brutal than being referred to as the dark lord himself. Not satisfied with taking the coolest name ever, they then had a stint in the mid-80's where they took the second coolest name ever, and called themselves Blind Fury. What a bunch of assholes. If that wasn't enough, they decided to take the name Kindred, and then Pariah. Way to take all the sweet names you cocks. It's 2011 and truly epic, original band names are extremely hard to come by. See what hell you hath wrought, Satan? I would write a violation about changing band names all the time, but it would probably only be this long, and it would probably only be about Satan. Either way, they were an awesome band, even if that's just my opinion and you might not think so.

I guess that's it for now. Expect a new Violation post coming soon. It will definitely be about you.

- Brenocide \,,/


  1. Start with an anti-semite and end with one (Disney).

  2. NotWorthyofMetal8/09/2011 6:58 PM

    I want to see this violation soon. It will be interesting. Is it internet related?

  3. kingcarcas13498/10/2011 2:56 AM

    "gon get mah hair did" I love that one! :P
    Who would read 1500 pages? Esp. after it was said he pretty much copied it from the Unabomber? Only an idiot. Don't get me started on ultimateguitar or any large metal forum in general. With as many posts people can have on forums i often wonder if they do have the time to actually play their guitars/listen to music/be cool on the internet and have an actual job? Hey weren't we supposed to get that In Flames review "within the week" like a year ago?? I would have to disagree on one thing, i'd say long hair is better suited for introverts actually.

  4. Holy shit, I thought Trial by fire was by Blind Guardian

  5. holy shit I made that topic on UG. I was technically featured on That's Not Metal. My life is complete.

  6. Rodríguez8/10/2011 7:53 PM

    Where the hell is Tank, Fifth Angel, and Riot? I demand them, naoh!!

  7. Charlie brown speaking, no, you are just retarded. Think about it this way, if you have numerous different colors of paint, and you mix all the different paint together as one, how many colors do you have?

  8. That's assuming that everyone will mate and procreate with every different race across the globe until we're all some sort of tannish-brown color, which is total bullshit racist paranoia. But you say, "It's already happened with blacks marrying asians and whites marrying mexicans!" etc. But who is to say that offspring of those couples will in turn marry mixed race offspring and produce more kids? Seems like the probability of that is low. And even if it was high, who gives a flying fuck? It's fucking 2011. Why assholes like you still feel the need to promote old racist and anti-semitic thinking is beyond me. Guess what? Races have mixed. You've lost. Now stop worrying about meaningless petty bullshit like race purity and enjoy your life. And if you can't get over that, kindly end your life so the rest of us have one less racist piece of shit to deal with on this world.

  9. I went into this before, im more worried about the culture that comes with race than the skin color itself(and that fact that the world is slowly being absorbed by western consumerist lifestyle),i also have nothing personally against Jews or any other race of people, I'm just not brainwashed by liberal moral propaganda, and can understand that there are two sides to this argument. There is nothing wrong with hating something, regardless of what it is, if you have legit reasoning.
    I don't automatically assume that because someone's opinion is'nt politically correct that they are automatically wrong, it's people like you who skip the whole process of actually thinking and just jump on bandwagons without really understanding what they are talking about.
    Also if you look at the math of it, eventually yes, that would happen, i got taught this by a homosexual Sociology professor who was married to a brown dude,it's not racist propaganda, it's just an observation made by academics, don't assume you know shit when you clearly don't have a clue.

  10. How do you start a Jewish Marathon?

    Roll a Penny down a Hill.

  11. tananakelove8/11/2011 5:40 AM


    Why did Hitler kill himself?

    He couldn't pay the Gas Bill.

  12. ChristianMetal7778/11/2011 5:41 AM

    I feel bad saying this one but....

    What's the difference between a Pepperoni Pizza and a Jew?

    Pepperoni Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the Oven.

  13. A priest and a rabbi are standing outside of a church when a young school boy walks by.

    The priest looks over to the rabbi and asks "Hey, do you want to take that boy into the church and fuck him"?

    To which the Rabbi replies "Out of what?"

  14. Riffmast: It would be one thing if you were politically incorrect, but you're also just incorrect. Genetic diversity = a stronger ability to adapt to one's environment. So to make this as simple as possible for you, a person who's half black and half-white has both the genetic strengths of a white person as well as black person, and is more capable of adapting to changes in their surroundings than someone who is strictly of "one race".

    With that said, there are really no "black people" and "white people" or "races" for that matter. People aren't just "colors". There are genetic variations between all kinds of people all over the world, black or white or asian. Even if we all eventually became the sameish "color", there would still be a variety of different genetic makeups within the species in other forms. What you are proposing is borderline inbreeding that would lead to strict, separation and weakening of the species in organized sections.

    Case in point: pure-bred dogs. Pure-bred dogs will more often than not be less healthy than mutts because they are breeded with strict guidelines. For instance, German shepherds have terrible hip problems, and English bulldogs have terrible breathing problems. These two breeds of dogs will always have these problems, because English bulldogs are mated with other English bulldogs, so all we get is this concentrated line of dogs that are eternally shitty at breathing.

    The whitest people mating with the whitest people may seem nice culturally, but when the sun gets hotter, the Ozone layer gets more depleted, and there skin melts off from a serious lack of melanin, we're not going to have that nice little culture anymore.

    So much for "good for the species"...

  15. NotWorthyofMetal8/11/2011 12:01 PM

    @Riffmast People aren't paint! What a fucking retard.

  16. Brenocide- If you notice my post, my main concern is the CULTURAL factors, i understand and agree with of what you said there. I never said that race mixing is an inherently good or bad thing, or that no one should breed with other peoples, you guys assume allot of stuff like this that is'nt at all there in my post. If we mix everything and everyone together and we all become one, we will become of one race and one culture, which is'nt a good thing because we need different kinds of thinking and reasoning,along with genetic traces. All i was pointing out, is that dislike and segregation between different peoples can help lead to their cultures/races individual traits being preserved, while blindly joining together with everyone and globalizing has negative effects.

    And NotWorthyOfMetal- I understand abstraction might be a little bit hard for you, you should take a night course or something, learn a little bit and come back later.

  17. hahahahahahhaha

    Nice recognition Andrew

  18. These comments are full of fuck. But now that I get what Riffmast was saying, that's kind of fucking retarded. That's why cultural groups and records are made and kept. So we DON'T lose sight of that culture.

    I still <3 riffmast tho

  19. NotWorthyofMetal8/11/2011 4:20 PM

    @Riffmast Herp derp I don't understand how cultures work because I'm fucking retarded.

  20. Hoppocalypse8/13/2011 12:36 PM


    So if I understand you correctly, hating another culture is perfectly natural and good for certain ways of thinking. Ok.

    Fuck you, stop hating on our right to hate on people who hate jews. It's a perfectly natural mechanism for identifying folks with a track record of being BATSHIT insane.

  21. The funniest thing I've read on this site so far: "you should probably know that for the sake of our continuing evolution and strengthening of the gene pool, people as flat-out retarded as you should keep carelessly playing with their extensive gun collection. Don't bother saving them for the race war, turning one on yourself will make all of us winners."

    Plus, the guy in the far left of the Wolfchant photo - I'm not sure what, but something is very wrong there.

  22. You know nothing about jews, freemasons, the ancient mystery schools, paganism, or the bloody judeo-christian dark ages. You should know about these things extensively. Not only because this shit is meaningful to metal and so much ancient symbology is tossed around by 95% of you fuckhead metal posers.

    Secret societies still exist and still control the world. A powerful international Jewish conspiracy clearly exists. Fuck sake. All you talking about satan and lucifer and shit don't know know the beliefs of masons. They believe lucifer gave man the gift of intellect so that one day man could become god. They don't even worship lucifer, they worship the intellect. Not hard to see why they would become so powerful.

    One last thing. Niggers and Jews do not belong in Europe. Period. Stop being such weaklings and stand for what is yours, or i should say once was yours.

  23. I'm going to make out with a black chick tonight just to spite you.

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. Dude if you're concerned about white culture then go praise zues and odin because it was killed long ago by christianity

  26. That Angel Witch track was effin´sweet!

  27. Hey Riffmast, you should find sociology teacher that would be smarter, or just find someone with some common sense, or even better, just try to think for yourself before spitting senseless ideas of people that is way stupid.

    to think that culture will stop exissting just because different races mate with others are just nonsense. The whole point of culture mixing is the origin of civilization. And as you must probably are caucasian, let me tell you an historical fact: europeans depends, culturally, on the thing that oucrred in Mesopothamia (Irak) about more 3000 years ago. The "pure" europeans depended on what happened in the middle-east, from Greece to the west.

    So please, Riffmast, SHUT THE FUCK UP

  28. Actually all cultures are currently being destroyed by the globalized west as it replace everything with consumerism. And by linking everyone together and forcing us to integrate we will become a single global culture eventually( if it continues). And yes i know that European culture benefited from Mesopothamia, that has nothing to do with what i was saying, you have to stop putting words into my mouth and listen to what I'm actually saying.


    Also Varg is great.

    So Brenocide, you win some. You lose some.

    Either way, I'm so much more metal than you.

    ...but keep up the fair to middling work. It's still a hell of a lot better than what anyone else is putting out.


All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.