This is the only music video I have watched and enjoyed. It's a couple years old and hasn't been seen by anybody except us. I want these guys to be signed immediately. In other news, I'm working on something substantial again, but it's gonna keep being like this. You're gonna go a while without much of anything except some crappy blurbs about shit that doesn't matter. You want news updates? Here's one: Girls still don't want to fuck you.
No, but seriously, as if Trivium couldn't figure out a way to be more false, they decided to have David Draiman of Disturbed produce their new album:
|Draiman, seen here, contemplating just how badly he wants to get down with Heafy's sickness.|
Out of all the bands that teeter on the fence between metal music and radio butt riffs, Trivium is only second to Avenged Sevenfold in finding new ways to prove themselves on the wrong side of that fence. I mean, at this point, I think it's safe to say that they're totally on the wrong side of that fence. They're on the wrong side, and they've drilled holes just big enough to fit their pale little peckers through, and they're just fucking wagging them at us. They're wagging their flaccid wieners at us and giggling with jolly fervor as we just have to look on from a distance. Look on from a distance, all pissed off and listening to our Sweet Savage records, doing our best to ignore them. Some of you even go over for a taste.
Still don't think Trivium unmetal? That picture was taken from Paolo Gregoletto's smarty phone and uploaded onto his Instagram feed. And here you were thinking only a seasoned Photoshop wizard could apply such a cracker jack black n' white filter. If snapping shots of David Draiman's cue ball with your iPhone, while the hippest of Heafys noodles away on his vintage-style Gibson just a foot away from rock radio's favorite chin-tusked man baby isn't unmetal, I don't know what is. This coming from the blowhard that started a web page all about that specifically. How much more do we need to drive home that you need to stop listening to Trivium if you don't want to suck? Did they break up yet? Then a lot more.