Monday, June 6, 2011

Morbid Angel's New Album Really, Really Sucks

Are you all ready to killakilla copcop?
Now, that is a title I never expected to see, let alone be the one to write it. It’s devastating, but the truth must be known. This album blows. I mean, we all know Morbid Angel is legendary. That’s all I really need to say, because if you are unaware of Morbid Angel’s contributions to metal music, you need to get off this site pronto. Everything said here is going to fly right over your dreadlocked, facepaint-covered head. I would suggest you either look into Altars of Madness right now, or commit suicide. We don’t take kindly to falsies ‘round here.
Which is precisely why we here at That’s Not Metal have awarded Morbid Angel’s Illud Divinum Insanus the title of “Most disappointing crock of shit this decade.”
I’ll just cut right to it. The album starts off with Morbid Angel’s best impression of Dimmu
Borgir in the form of “Omni Potens.” Two and a half minutes of boring, pretentious synth in a cheesy structure more fitting of Nox Arcana than anything. They half-assedly try and remind us that we’re listening to what Trey Azagthoth and David Vincent created by throwing in a stupid sounding “ooooWAH!” over and over atop an overly echo-y snare hit. But hey, it’s just an intro right? Maybe the rest of the album won’t be as lame.

Wrong.



The first actual song is called “Too Extreme!” And might I just say…really? What is too extreme? How terribly this song sucks? If I wasn’t looking at the artwork with the name of the band and album, I would think this song was some new Static-X bullshit. Whirry, industrial nu metal riffs over drums that don’t even sound real, but rather a computer that has too many triggers (Woo! Tim Yeung!). No punch, no kick, no bite. Just Rammstein riffs and horrible lyrics about new religions and soul harvesting. Actually, come to think of it, that sounds awesome on paper. It must just be Morbid Angel making metal subject matter unmetal, which there is no shortage of on this plastic turd. Next up is Existo Vulgore, which honestly isn’t that bad. I hear trace amounts of Morbid Angel influence in the riffs pretty much throughout, and even though Tim Yeung plays like Tim Yeung (IE, NOT SUITED FOR MORBID ANGEL), it is listenable at least. By the time I expected it to get really shitty, it was over. Good call on their part.

David Vincent, pictured here being Too Extreme.
Next up is Blades for Baal, and uhhh… I think already mentioned how Tim Yeung should not be on this album. I mean, not only do all the drums in his legit death metal projects sound empty, digital and soulless, but let’s not forget the other, true metal titans he’s played for:


GET. OUT.
However, I don’t hate the song, because if someone told me Morbid Angel wrote it, I might be able to convince myself it was just a filler track. The next song, UFC-friendly anthem “I Am Morbid,” and the following , chug-obsessed, groove metal snorefest “10 More Dead” are barely tolerable in comparison to the ocean of diarrhea I forced myself to swim through for 7 minutes and 15 seconds: “Destructos Vs. The Earth/Attack.” No, I didn’t get that wrong, that is an actual title they thought was a good idea.
I listened to the song and was overcome with rage. What could they have been thinking? Industrial nu metal bullshit again? Who convinced who that was a good idea? It’s not even really metal, it’s more akin to some shit you’d hear at a goth club. I’ll add that the number one result on youtube for this steaming pile of anal refuse was not the song itself, but the Combichrist remix.
REALLY???
Once I was able to stop vomiting and stagger back to my computer, and prepared to play the next track, praying all the while to the metal gods that it wouldn’t suck…
Amazingly, my wish was granted in the form of the closest song to sounding like Morbid Angel on the album, “Nevermore.” It’s not very good for Morbid Angel, but after enduring the previous atrocity, it was openly welcomed. Next track, “Beauty Meets Beast,” was another shitty-by-Morbid-Angel-standards-but-brilliant-compared-to-the-rest-of-this-travesty song, didn’t do much for me except make me want to get this ordeal over with. Still, I stuck to it, and the song eventually ended. However, this turned out to be a bad thing. A very, very, bad thing. For you see, the next song up happens to be one of the most embarrassing songs of any band’s catalogue ever. The god awful, infamous shitfest known as “Radikult.” Take a second to let that soak in. There are so many horrible nu metal clichés in the title alone, and it only gets worse. The song begins with one of the most influential death metal bands ever trying their hand at sounding like Machine Head. I’m not kidding. Is that hard to stomach? It gets even better. They transition with shameless ease from Machine Head to Marilyn Manson, and the first thing you hear in the song is the incredibly lame “Killacopcop Killacop killakilla-cop-cop” hook. Are you shitting me, David Vincent? Did you do too much acid and now you think you’re Ice-T? What the hell are you saying that for? It doesn’t even mesh with the rest of the truly nauseating lyrics:

“The lines have long been drawn
Between the life and death,
The right and wrong
But what's the reason,
What's our reason?
The walls are high we know
They've gotta come down

'Cause we've been crossing the line since 1989
We're moving the world
Because our power is a shining
Sick groove with f*cking magic to prove that
The radicals are here to stay!

W'ere living hardcore and radical
We'll always be maniacal and animal
They fear us cause we're physical irrational
Our radi-killer kult is thriving!”

ARE YOU ON CRACK?
Did 3 Inches of Blood just outmetal Morbid Angel? You can decide for yourself, but read those lyrics and then read the lyrics to Deadly Sinners and tell me which band you think carries the spirit of true metal more. There is a right and wrong answer, and if you don’t know which is which, I suggest you leave now.
I am shocked, insulted and horrified. How can these be the same people that wrote “Bleed for the Devil?”
I felt such a surge of relief to see that there was only one single 4 minute song left in the form of the all-too-forgettable “Profundis – Mea Culpa.” After making it all the way through Radikult, anything seemed possible. The song would have been ok if it weren’t for the 40 dollar drum machine everyone nicknames Tim Yeung, but honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted the whole thing to be over so I could take a shower and attempt to cleanse myself of the betrayal and shame, but I think it’s going to take years of therapy and heavy drug use to erase this moment from permanent memory…or kill me. Either one seems like a better alternative to living the rest of my life in the same plane of existence as “Killacopcop Killacop killakilla-cop-cop…”

This was a fail so massive I never thought it possible. I guess only the band who wrote Altars of Madness, Blessed Are The Sick, Covenant, Domination, Gateways to Annihilation, Heretic, etc, would be capable to ruining it’s own, once-proud name. Everyone hates you, Morbid Angel. Tell me, how is your radi-killer-kult doing now?

36 comments:

  1. killacopcopkillacopkillakillakillacopcopkillacopkillacopkillakillacopcop...

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  2. This is just horrible. Decibel's July cover story was intriguing but it also gave me pause as "controversial" combined with "technocore" (what the hell is that, really?) more or less equated to "this is going to be horrible." And what's the real story re: Pete Sandoval? Even laid up could he not contribute to an album - or could it not wait a little longer (what's another year at this point)? I noted last night that EVERY review of the CD on Amazon gives a single star. Saddest of all, though - and what makes me "not metal" in this instance is that, sitting here listening to COVENANT, I still think I'll pick this turd up because, for some reason, I have to hear this for myself. Great post - and thanks for telling it like it is and not dancing around the subject with vague descriptions such as "controversial" and "challenging."

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  3. Youtube bro, just have your barf bag ready. $10 can be spent on beer, a movie ticket, a book, some cheerios, why would you give it to this band.......errr record producers? Or better yet on another more worthy CD?

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  4. Oh my god... I just tried to listen all the way through "Radikult"... How did you do it???

    Though this version does seem slightly more bearable than the original
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZHxmQPcuE

    R.I.P. Morbid Angel

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  5. I hereby bestow Morbid Angel the title of "Slipknot"

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  6. Except you know, SlipKnot sound nothing like that...

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  7. I'm trying to convince myself that this isn't actually part of MA's discography. 8 years between albums and all...I think this would be more appropriately titled 'David Vincent's Morbid Angel Experience presents Illud Divinum Insanus!' or something like that.

    There is way too much of Vincent on this thing. He never shuts up. You can hardly tell that Trey was even involved in the project. IDI is a crime against music.

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  8. He's not saying "kill a cop", he's saying "killer cult". But who cares, the song is terrible either way

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  9. Oh, that at least makes more sense. Too bad the song is still 5 layer burrito of shit.

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  10. fucking steaming pile of turd! bring back tucker now!!! vincent go fuck off!!!

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  11. they are trying to gives us shit making it look like chocolate...

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  12. Blades for Baal is decent song IMO. But yeah, this whole situation fills my brain with fuck. Fans were anticipating this album like the coming of christ, and now this comes out? Where are the hidden cameras? This is the type of thing that doesn't even make sense that it could happen IRL. I almost seriously believe that they're trolling.

    Seriously though, this situation is so much more interesting than if they would have made a good album. I mean, look at Autopsy's new one. Everyone just goes "Yeah, killer album" and moves on. The backlash, the band members response to it, the Hitler Reaction video, and the total mindfuck that is Illud Divinum Insanus makes this one of the most interesting events in metal history (that I know of).

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  13. I see where you're coming from, but I have to disagree. This kind of shit happens all the time in metal, but the blow is never any softer when it hits. A band decides to make a new album, they big it up to their fans, and when the fans hear it, they're upset and confused to say the least. So, this is neither a very interesting event, nor is it a good thing in any way. It's just one more band that decided to soil their once proud name by "broadening their horizons." And I'll make note of the fact that literally nothing about this album is groundbreaking. It's just Morbid Angel trying to sound like far inferior bands and sucking.

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  14. Sounds like Rammstein having sex with a vacuum cleaner.

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  15. Dis album is sooo gud your just jeloous of them cause they have a ton of a more life then u and they have sex all the time and u have no leif and never get laid and ur a faget on the internet whos fat and lonley. Morbid angle finaly desided to make good music insted of that stupid satanic hevy shit they usedto make.

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    1. i fogot 2 menton tat i m a fog it ben a whle but i rememer to tell u

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  16. ^ This guy is livin' hardcore and radical

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  17. I wanted to like this album, like a lot of Morbid Angel fans did, despite all of the backlash it was getting before it's release. I actually went pretty easy on it my my review, but in the end I think I was still pretty generous when I gave it a 3/10.

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  18. Lol I think he's trollin

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  19. I'm actually ecstatic at the fact that i have been sent to Watch.. erm.. cry through the musical travesty that was Radikult before buying the album that i was so unfortunately looking forward to. there's so way i'd spend 25 dollars on a rectal infection and irreversible trauma gained by sitting through the whole thing..

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  20. Mike, try to be more subtle next time

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  21. Being into industrial music, this review actually made me want to listen to this album. I listened to a few songs on youtube to get a feel of it... Honestly this is.. What the fuck.. It's like they're trying to incorporate industrial into their sound but instead this shit comes out.

    To use a metaphor: A death metal band trying to use some industrial metal is like having a child with your half-sibling. It's most likely going to be something that shouldn't exist. Just ew.

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  22. I'm just waiting to boo them off the stage at BOA - That is IF they play one of these songs... Which they never will because they will be massacred.

    The album is shit but there is no need to not see them live, even if this is the Black album of death metal.

    Morbid Angel are the new Metallica.

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  23. Por Que no Taco6/08/2011 11:13 AM

    Let's pretend this never happened.

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  24. Maybe the new Wintersun album (when it finally comes out) will suck really hard too.

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  25. Por Que no Taco6/08/2011 11:56 AM

    I think using Latin should be a violation. It's getting old.

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  26. "Maybe the new Wintersun album (when it finally comes out) will suck really hard too."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naQ31iAS1fA
    Yeah, it will suck *rolls eyes*

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  27. I don't wanna jinx anything.

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  28. Lol @ tulus. Let this be a lesson for bands and people alike. Do not have sex with half-siblings. Or brothers/sisters, cousins. Aside from it just being gross, the nasty, illegitimate lovechild will have catastrophic results.

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  29. The album was Mallcore + EBM + Strapping Young Lad Rip off.

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  30. Killacop? Is morbid angle going nu-metal?

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  31. Morbid Angel just got out-metalled by Limp Bizkit... :P

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  32. I listened to that 'Too Extreme' song and a couple of others. If someone told me this song was by some random shitty deathcore band I would've believed it instantly. I never was too big a fan of MA, but for the sake of their fans I hope that this is a very successful attempt at trolling.

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  33. This is great... I love seeing big hitters like Morbid Angel and Cryptopsy totally derail and collide into an orphanage killing everything.

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  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  35. David Vincent sings "Killer Kult, Killer Kult" at the beginning of Radikult. It seems everything we do online these days has turned into a popularity contest.

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.