Morbid Angel's New Album Really, Really Sucks

Are you all ready to killakilla copcop?

Now, that is a title I never expected to see, let alone be the one to write it. It’s devastating, but the truth must be known. This album blows. I mean, we all know Morbid Angel is legendary. That’s all I really need to say, because if you are unaware of Morbid Angel’s contributions to metal music, you need to get off this site pronto. Everything said here is going to fly right over your dreadlocked, facepaint-covered head. I would suggest you either look into Altars of Madness right now, or commit suicide. We don’t take kindly to falsies ‘round here.
Which is precisely why we here at That’s Not Metal have awarded Morbid Angel’s Illud Divinum Insanus the title of “Most disappointing crock of shit this decade.”
I’ll just cut right to it. The album starts off with Morbid Angel’s best impression of Dimmu
Borgir in the form of “Omni Potens.” Two and a half minutes of boring, pretentious synth in a cheesy structure more fitting of Nox Arcana than anything. They half-assedly try and remind us that we’re listening to what Trey Azagthoth and David Vincent created by throwing in a stupid sounding “ooooWAH!” over and over atop an overly echo-y snare hit. But hey, it’s just an intro right? Maybe the rest of the album won’t be as lame.

Wrong.



The first actual song is called “Too Extreme!” And might I just say…really? What is too extreme? How terribly this song sucks? If I wasn’t looking at the artwork with the name of the band and album, I would think this song was some new Static-X bullshit. Whirry, industrial nu metal riffs over drums that don’t even sound real, but rather a computer that has too many triggers (Woo! Tim Yeung!). No punch, no kick, no bite. Just Rammstein riffs and horrible lyrics about new religions and soul harvesting. Actually, come to think of it, that sounds awesome on paper. It must just be Morbid Angel making metal subject matter unmetal, which there is no shortage of on this plastic turd. Next up is Existo Vulgore, which honestly isn’t that bad. I hear trace amounts of Morbid Angel influence in the riffs pretty much throughout, and even though Tim Yeung plays like Tim Yeung (IE, NOT SUITED FOR MORBID ANGEL), it is listenable at least. By the time I expected it to get really shitty, it was over. Good call on their part.

David Vincent, pictured here being Too Extreme.

Next up is Blades for Baal, and uhhh… I think already mentioned how Tim Yeung should not be on this album. I mean, not only do all the drums in his legit death metal projects sound empty, digital and soulless, but let’s not forget the other, true metal titans he’s played for:

GET. OUT.

However, I don’t hate the song, because if someone told me Morbid Angel wrote it, I might be able to convince myself it was just a filler track. The next song, UFC-friendly anthem “I Am Morbid,” and the following , chug-obsessed, groove metal snorefest “10 More Dead” are barely tolerable in comparison to the ocean of diarrhea I forced myself to swim through for 7 minutes and 15 seconds: “Destructos Vs. The Earth/Attack.” No, I didn’t get that wrong, that is an actual title they thought was a good idea.
I listened to the song and was overcome with rage. What could they have been thinking? Industrial nu metal bullshit again? Who convinced who that was a good idea? It’s not even really metal, it’s more akin to some shit you’d hear at a goth club. I’ll add that the number one result on youtube for this steaming pile of anal refuse was not the song itself, but the Combichrist remix.
REALLY???
Once I was able to stop vomiting and stagger back to my computer, and prepared to play the next track, praying all the while to the metal gods that it wouldn’t suck…
Amazingly, my wish was granted in the form of the closest song to sounding like Morbid Angel on the album, “Nevermore.” It’s not very good for Morbid Angel, but after enduring the previous atrocity, it was openly welcomed. Next track, “Beauty Meets Beast,” was another shitty-by-Morbid-Angel-standards-but-brilliant-compared-to-the-rest-of-this-travesty song, didn’t do much for me except make me want to get this ordeal over with. Still, I stuck to it, and the song eventually ended. However, this turned out to be a bad thing. A very, very, bad thing. For you see, the next song up happens to be one of the most embarrassing songs of any band’s catalogue ever. The god awful, infamous shitfest known as “Radikult.” Take a second to let that soak in. There are so many horrible nu metal clichés in the title alone, and it only gets worse. The song begins with one of the most influential death metal bands ever trying their hand at sounding like Machine Head. I’m not kidding. Is that hard to stomach? It gets even better. They transition with shameless ease from Machine Head to Marilyn Manson, and the first thing you hear in the song is the incredibly lame “Killacopcop Killacop killakilla-cop-cop” hook. Are you shitting me, David Vincent? Did you do too much acid and now you think you’re Ice-T? What the hell are you saying that for? It doesn’t even mesh with the rest of the truly nauseating lyrics:

“The lines have long been drawn
Between the life and death,
The right and wrong
But what's the reason,
What's our reason?
The walls are high we know
They've gotta come down

'Cause we've been crossing the line since 1989
We're moving the world
Because our power is a shining
Sick groove with f*cking magic to prove that
The radicals are here to stay!

W'ere living hardcore and radical
We'll always be maniacal and animal
They fear us cause we're physical irrational
Our radi-killer kult is thriving!”

ARE YOU ON CRACK?
Did 3 Inches of Blood just outmetal Morbid Angel? You can decide for yourself, but read those lyrics and then read the lyrics to Deadly Sinners and tell me which band you think carries the spirit of true metal more. There is a right and wrong answer, and if you don’t know which is which, I suggest you leave now.
I am shocked, insulted and horrified. How can these be the same people that wrote “Bleed for the Devil?”

I felt such a surge of relief to see that there was only one single 4 minute song left in the form of the all-too-forgettable “Profundis – Mea Culpa.” After making it all the way through Radikult, anything seemed possible. The song would have been ok if it weren’t for the 40 dollar drum machine everyone nicknames Tim Yeung, but honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted the whole thing to be over so I could take a shower and attempt to cleanse myself of the betrayal and shame, but I think it’s going to take years of therapy and heavy drug use to erase this moment from permanent memory…or kill me. Either one seems like a better alternative to living the rest of my life in the same plane of existence as “Killacopcop Killacop killakilla-cop-cop…”

This was a fail so massive I never thought it possible. I guess only the band who wrote Altars of Madness, Blessed Are The Sick, Covenant, Domination, Gateways to Annihilation, Heretic, etc, would be capable to ruining it’s own, once-proud name. Everyone hates you, Morbid Angel. Tell me, how is your radi-killer-kult doing now?