Thursday, June 23, 2011
Has your day been going too well? NEW IWABO! You're welcome.
As much as I would love to pre-order the new album by iwrestledabearonce, aptly titled "Ruining it for everybody", I think I would rather pre-order the latest, greatest, top-of-the-line John Deere tractor so that I can formerly request one of my good friends run over my dick with it. Check out that t-shirt that comes with the bundle. Now that is blue. Middle school rules apply here. If you're seen wearing a shirt that fruity pebbles, you're getting your ass kicked. Take note: we are not above giving swirlies to people here in the metal elite. Regardless of whether or not we're pushing 30 or potentially 50. If it's not black, it's not a band shirt.
On a lighter note, Krysta Cameron sounds like she's singing a lot better for the clean vocals on this album. Which is nice. Nice like a soft kiss on the cheek after a prison shower gang rape sort of nice. It doesn't come out until the end of July here in the States, so I have an entire month to think of analogies for bad music before I inevitably review it. If I don't end myself first. This is deathcore with jazz hands.
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Deathcore with Jazz Hands. Holy shit. It is.
ReplyDeleteOr, Pitchfork-gave-it-a-7.5-core.
WTF is this?? I'd rather become a fucking pastor than listen to this album, I guess I'm looking forward to the review. On a better note, will you be reviewing the new Alestorm album at all?
ReplyDeleteWhat this song apparently means:
ReplyDelete"People believe anything fed to them if they are told by someone with power that it's truth. Your head will spin trying to rationalize religion, politics, and environment. The song references mother nature becoming fed up with our ways and swallowing us whole. It's a warning of our long-awaited Armageddon. No, not the movie…"
I guess that makes sense. If you tell a pre pubescent little kid with a pizza face that this album is good, they just might believe you.
Hey Bren, what happened to the In Flames review?
ReplyDelete"If it's not black, it's not a band shirt."
ReplyDeleteWhat about a the Ultra-Violence shirt from Death Angel? It's white obviously because the album artwork is white.
IWABO? I believe it's all one word, Brenocide, therefore it would be shortened to "I". As in "I really blows cock. I is a terrible piece of shit and should hang themselves and drown in sewage."
ReplyDeleteEpic review will be epic.
ReplyDeleteGood lord 10 year olds could play better..
ReplyDelete"hey put in some clean female vox to make it sound deep"
I've been thinking about violations, sneakers, flip flops, painted nails, leather pants?
You can't get more metal than leather pants.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.technewsinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/manowar_dio_stran.jpg
fuck u man iwabo rules
ReplyDeleteWhat the hells has happened with the close minded comments?
ReplyDeleteApocalips you suggested reffering to this band as I, however that would be an insult to the half cocked side project symphonic shitfest of gorgoroth's very own king which actually still manages to be atleast 666 times more talented and listenable than this new bleepity-bloop metal-c.. I mean "post-hardcore with some electronica" affront to actual music could ever hope to be
ReplyDelete