Thursday, June 16, 2011

Metallica Monopoly Game?! Who else isn't surprised?

I always figured that Rich Uncle Pennybags was Metallica's producer.
So I was cruising around Twitter earlier, to see that Blabbermouth has the scoop on the latest way for has-been Thrash titans Metallica to dig themselves a deeper and even deeper grave in the cemetery of sell-outs. Who owns this cemetary? Gene Simmons of course, but that's not the point...

"Game description: "The fast-dealing property trading game' just got faster! Monopoly Metallica Collector's Edition takes the popular board game to a whole new level. Every aspect of the game designed for the true METALLICA fan in mind. You'll 'Pass Go' through historic METALLICA events and locations around the board such as club shows, festivals, studios, childhood homes and other metal landmarks. Create your own real estate empire by adding arenas and stadiums to all your properties! Game pieces include the 'Kill 'Em All' hammer, '...And Justice For All' scales, 'St. Anger' fist, 'Black Album' snake, ninja star, and the 'Jump in the Fire' demon. Land on one of the 'Binge and Purge' or 'Jump in the Fire' spaces and be rewarded or fined in true METALLICA form. You won't believe the price you'll pay!"

METALLICA follows KISSTHE BEATLESELVIS PRESLEY and THE GRATEFUL DEAD, among other artists, who have their own Monopoly games."

Metallica action figures, Metallica lunchboxes, Metallica video games, Metallica board games; yes kids, Metallica is aligning themselves as the modern day KISS of the not-so underground heavy metal world. What was once considered a respectable thrash outfit has turned into nothing more than just another product to be sold to anyone and everyone. No demographic goes unconsidered, no market unexplored. We kind of already knew this about Metallica, a long time ago. So I thought things like this wouldn't really surprise me anymore, but I can't help but feel this is a new all-time low for the band. Even when I thought Metallica couldn't possibly do anything to make me respect them less as human beings, they go and pull shit like this. Yeah, it figures, and yeah, I should have seen it coming enough to not be so disgusted, but when you grew up having your mind blown by Master of Puppets like a lot of us have, shit like this just rips open the fucking stitches on that gaping, infected wound Metallica left on the metal world and all of us. Although I guess I should look on the bright side of all this, and see that the best board game for Metallica would be the one that's all about the fucking money. 

We might as well play the retarded game while we have it. It's actually pretty awesome that they included that dumb ass ninja star as a game piece. That way, you can make the friend/sibling that everybody hates play as it.

So what do you guys think? Metallica as usual, or a little too far?


  1. Does anyone actually enjoy Monopoly?

  2. Monopoly is awesome.

  3. Monopoly's great :D although I won't buy this on the principle that it encourages them to make crap commercial music, I'll admit firing Dave Mustaine must be a satisfying 'chance' card :)

  4. I'd buy this, but the thought of giving Lars Ulrich any more money sickens me. Too bad I can't pirate it.

  5. 1. Get make-your-own-opoly from your local games or hobby shop(
    2. Make it metal as fuck
    3. Play it with your fellow metal warriors while spinning Sacramentum's "Thy Black Destiny"
    4. Aaawwww yeeaaahh

  6. Ah, Metallica as usual. Selling out yet again. Now a bunch of young children who think this is 'the shit. Metallica, hell yeah \m/' can have something to sit around and screw with all day. Also, board games? Not metal.

  7. instead of going to jail, do you get crushed under a bus?

  8. kingcarcas13496/19/2011 1:10 AM

    Who came up with that star idea anyway? There are tards out there who actually have tats of that thing...........

  9. No one is going to play as the St. Anger fist are they?

  10. Yeap, I'm actually not at all surprised.


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