Friday, December 3, 2010

Having your Mom Drive you to Shows



Hi Cody, this is Mom. I'm sorry for calling you on your bus ride home. I know, I'll let you get back to your friends, but they're just going to have to wait and let me borrow you for a second so that we can talk about this. I need to make sure we're on the same page for this concert you're going to tonight. Just so we're clear, we're not going to have an episode like we did last time. I was driving around downtown for 20 minutes, trying to get you to answer your damn cell phone. I couldn't find the place, there was no parking, and people were honking at me every which way. I'll be damned if that happens again, Cody. Understand? I'll be damned.

I'm not yelling, I'm just trying to make sure that we're perfectly clear. Good. Now, first things first, what time is the concert going to be? Oh, well then I guess you're not going to be home for dinner tonight. We're cooking chicken and green beans. Do you like green beans? Well, we're having green beans. We'll be eating them for leftovers tomorrow so they'll be in the fridge when you get home. You can reheat them in the microwave. Now who's going to meet you at the concert? Does Derek have a ride there? If you don't know, then I'll just give Derek's mother a call to double-check. No, it's alright. I don't mind calling her. Better safe than sorry. 

Okay, now what's the name of the band you're going to go see? I haven't heard of them. Do they swear? There's no reason to give me an attitude, Cody! I just don't like it when you listen to music with foul language. Is it alright if Noah goes with you? I know Cody, but Noah's your little brother and he doesn't have a lot of friends. 

Now what time is the concert going to be over? You're kidding, right? That's ridiculous. I'm sorry, that's just ridiculous. You and Noah need to meet me at the front entrance at 11 o'clock sharp. This isn't up for debate, Cody. Tonight is a school night and your father needs to wake up for work tomorrow. Well, maybe next time you'll think about that before buying concert tickets without my permission.

Listen sweetie, there's a lot of traffic and I gotta hang up. We'll talk about this when I see you at home okay? I love you. Cody, I said "I love you". I love you too CoCo. Okay. O-okay. Love you honey. Okay.

Buh-bye.

6 comments:

  1. Oh man, Iron Maiden gonna be here next couple of months and my mom will only let me go (It's my last chance to see them live, I NEED to go to that concert, no matter what) if she tags along...

    What should I do?

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  2. Haha just go bro, christ.

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  3. ROFL, what if you need a ride home because you drink and have no friends? Hey whatever, i never really thought anything of it until this one chick was trying to chat me up and i was like "what if my mom pulls up" haha whatever...

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  4. Haha, you have no idea how many scenedouchebagfucktards in my school do this to go to their shitty -core shows. My dad comes with me to metal shows but he grew up listening to the good stuff so he can appreciate the musicianship. Who cares if your parents come, as long as they aren't fucking idiots about it and can have a good time.

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  5. what if my mom love metal and hate -corefag shit for being pussie music?

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  6. The first concert I went to I had to buy a ticket for my dad so that he would drive me. It worked out though because he looked so out of place that we got free VIP passes.

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.