Tuesday, December 7, 2010

News: Judas Priest Calling it Quits

Alright fellas, one more picture and I promise you can all go home and get back to sleep.

After a meager 40 years of rocking, the Metal Gods, Judas Priest, are turning their backs on millions of adoring fans. The sour news of Halford's, Tipton's, Downing's, Hill's and Travis' stunning lack of work ethic can be read about here:

"After storming the world for nearly 40 years and taking their very special brand of heavy metal to all four corners of the planet, Judas Priest - one of the most influential heavy metal bands of all time, have announced this will be their final world tour", the band stated (probably lazily, while just sitting there) in a recent press release. "With all guns blazing and amps cranked to 11, the band will be giving all their fans one last chance to witness the ultimate metal experience that is Judas Priest."

Apparently all the millions Halford and gang have been earning from touring the world, selling albums, and changing lives, was all so that they could invest in their 401k. Like this is some kind of goddamn clerical government work they're doing. There's no freaking retirement plan here. Metal meltdown is for life. You can stop rocking for two reasons:

1. You're dead. Preferably from a motor vehicle accident or drug overdose. I hear that cancer is also very in these days.
2. You guys broke up. "Personal differences" is metal slang for "we got dangerously drunk and kicked each other's asses".

I guess we'll get to enjoy one more tour out of these guys. Hopefully they'll have the decency to stand up and move around during at least some of their performances. Yet with this kind of negative attitude, don't hold your breath. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.