Friday, June 17, 2011

Awful Metal Video: Trivium - In Waves

It's a mountain that floats, dude. Why not?
Do you know what I thought to myself? I had quite the whiskey-powered epiphany. I figured that "hey, it's getting pretty late, maybe some of my readers might have to be up bright and early tomorrow for their Saturday shifts, doing nothing important at a dead end job that doesn't matter. Maybe they're having trouble sleeping right now?"

Fear not, fellow insomniacs. Although you typically remain wide-eyed throughout the blackened void of all your nights, fueled with Monster energy and the daydreams of what your signature guitar would look like if ESP designed it, (EX model with skull inlays? You classy mother fucker!) you'll be happy to know that deep sleep is only several minutes away. Awful Metal Video presents to you: Trivium's latest single, In Waves. Unleashed upon the internets just today, it is hands down the most boring fucking video anyone could ever watch. 




Should I keep writing? Are you still awake?


Water. Trivium members underwater.  Stern faces. Chick in the woods. Walking in the woods with stern faces. Matt Heafy's fucking scarf, Jesus. Trivium members emerging from underwater. To be continued. Wait, "to be continued"? Is there more of this shit to be had? Does Trivium have some sweet party waiting for them up on top of that floating mountain that rages harder than that of which we have seen in the music video for Anthem? I bet they filmed the "water emerging" scenes in that same fucking swimming pool they partied in for Anthem. You never know. Is that floating rock where all the other creepy forest chicks hang out to get drunk and hook up? That must be the mission here. Try as I might, I don't think I get this video. It's probably about being a young man overcoming hardships, or whatever the hell music for 16-year-olds is all about. Maybe I don't get it because I'm not cultural enough to appreciate gay art videos like this stupid bullshit and I don't eat sushi with chopsticks while looking around desperately to see if anyone notices how sophisticated I am.


Not to mention this song blows butt chowder. This sounds like one of those filler songs on an album that you skip over hastily to get to the tracks that matter. Except this is the single. This is what Trivium wants you to expect from their new album. Super. This sounds like Heafy wrote this riff while taking a shit. I imagine he had a pen and paper while taking a dump break during the creative process, and hastily scribbled some guitar tabs he just thought of because they needed one more song to consider their album complete, and he had a "I gotta finish this album and finish my bowel movement, fuck it" attitude about the whole situation. That's what this sounds like. Yes, it does. 


"Usually I like Trivium, but this song is...!" Shut your retarded suck fucking face, don't you dare god damn say it like you think it's okay. What are you, a sophomore in high school? Do you sit at a little half desk that lifts open when you get up? Does your mom buy your jeans? What's the matter with you? If you still change for gym class every other day, don't come on here and tell me anything about your opinion of music. You don't even have one yet. If you already graduated and still think Trivium is good, then you're one of those people that never really graduated. Fucking sad, man. Just tragic. Grow up and listen to Krokus. Even if you are 15, still do that right now. I watched the video again, and now I'm definitely down for the count. Good night everyone. 

27 comments:

  1. Usually I hate Trivium. No, wait, not usually. I have never NOT hated them. But that's all going to change, starting...probably never. Fuck this video.

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  2. the last paragraph, is epic, because i am a sophomore in high school, and i'm a girl.

    should i really BE on this website?

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  3. Usually I like Trivium, and I won't stop reading your site. Yep. Deal with it.

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  4. It's pathectic how you keep bashing bands that you feel isn't "metal" but don't provide any worthwhile arguments.. you bitch and ramble on about a band with petty insults. i wouldn't be surprised if you're some adolescent twat who grew up listening to thrash and think kerry king is god, or just some outcast loser that hates the world. Do you even have any music background? You're no elitist, just some closed minded hatemonger. Dissing Trivium, BFMV, BvB, etc... dude these guys are headlining festivals.. hell i bet their fingers alone have gotten more pussy than you. jealous? what are you doing with your life faggot?

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  5. As stated previously on this website, GETTING PUSSY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

    Bitch, do you know who wrote this? A METALHEAD.

    We don't need fucking music background TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE BANDS THAT SUCK. And we don't need to give you reasonable arguments as to why it sucks, 'CAUSE IT'S MADE FOR METALHEADS WHO DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN. So go die in a fire, pussy.

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  6. Why do you feel the need to refer to yourself as a metalhead or not giving a damn then calling me a pussy? First, you're probably some insecure fuckstick and second its just a label. you're no different than being called/calling others scene, hipster, whatever.. you're still a twat. Also, having music background would make you qualified to critique music and you can say "oh this is the internet i can do whatever i want i have freedom blah blah" go play in traffic moron. Your opinion and any other closed minded is about about as hogwash as harold camping's ramblings. for a doorknob who doesn't know jack about music, making such claims about music and metal in general, i've come to the conclusion you're just some anger filled child that doesn't know shit about what he's talking about and hates the world.

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  7. That's okay, umad, that's okay, let it out... so, a band you like made a sucky video, so what?
    The video sucks and everybody knows it.

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  8. Ustupid dude?6/18/2011 9:05 AM

    i'm referring to the wank who publishes this hatemonger rubbish.

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  9. instead of bitching just squeeze on a stressball instead of straining yourself even more and annoying other people in the process

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  10. Fuck Hatebreed6/18/2011 10:55 AM

    I used to like Trivium (a bit). Then I saw "Metal that sounds like other Metal". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbGGwlSo5vU They're in several of these videos. Saaaaaad.

    Ok. Reasons this video/song sucks:

    First the video: Extremely boring (as has been noted). It's got a guaranteed production cost of $20 and a 5-layer burrito, and was probably filmed in under 30 minutes. It has the value of an afterthought. Throwing a filter on the lens and making it all slow-mo does not make it artistic or interesting. It's a big fail on Trivium's part.

    Second the song: It starts off with your typical "vocalist screams to start the song" bullshit that is unfortunately extremely overused in metal. Then of course the main riff. Immediately we jump into a sing-songy chorus that your average pop artist shits out daily and right back into the main riff we go only to once again return to the chorus. Within the first minute we've heard the chorus twice. Seriously? Then the bridge. Full of power chords and some grade school piano. The solo? Did somebody say wah pedal? He jams his wah so hard you'd think it would bring him to climax. Over which we are treated to some basic arpeggios of which your average guitarist can belt out *in waves*. Then the music stops and everyone gets a sense of calm. That was it right? NO! Power chords again! Huzzah musical genius. Finishing of course with the chorus and some scrapped together outro notes. BORING. I guarantee this song was written in less than a day.

    It shames me to know these bastards are headlining shows with their sing-songy, drop-tuned, power chord riddled, pop metal bullshit, BUT THAT'S AMERICA.

    I have 20 years of music experience. Your opinion is shit. Suck it.

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  11. Holy shit. Relax it's just a joke. Whoever takes this site literally is an idiot.

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  12. I stopped watching as soon as i saw they weren't drowning.

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  13. See, Umad pussy? I don't need years of experience to know that some shit sucks. I actually just need to be older than 10. And yeah, you're right, I'm just an anger-filled child that hates the world.

    But I hate the world because it sucks, and because people like you who make it sucks more. What about respecting opinions, everyone? I have mine, you have yours, so stick it up your asshole and shut the fuck up. You're changing shit as much as I am here, so what's the god damn point? Go listen to your shitty music and leave us bashing it.

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  14. lol
    <-- 16 just got done with sophomore year of highschool.

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  15. Just finished Sophomore year, this song is shit. The video is shit. I am a girl. I can't believe I paused Kreator to listen to this.

    Pussy, if it's 'hatemonger rubbish', why are you here?

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  16. ^^ Well if didn't discover this hatemonger garbage then tell me how the fuck i got here ya dumb bitch? pff sophomore.. go back to middle school.

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  17. 20 years you claim is hogwash. people who actually have experience are mature enough to respect all music. i don't give a shit if you listen to eminem or country, TRUE musicians have respect for music, you're just a bunch of cunts and therefore wouldn't understand. Also "Kite", the more you swear it means you're just THAT much more right? huh?

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  18. I just found this on Havoc TV. Good fucking god... (It's just an idea for an awful music video of the week. Not "Awful Metal Music Video", just Awful Music Video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZClHUXbuw

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  19. kingcarcas13496/19/2011 3:14 AM

    lulz this band brings out the trolls for sure. I guess they missed the post about "rain videos" :P That's the thing, their other songs at least had them playing.....this is like chugga chugga some 13 year old can play slow song with equally boring video as a single to push an album? Doesn't even make sense.
    Maybe they figure they can mail it in with being so popular already? REALLY following in the footsteps of Metallica? Oh Snap!

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  20. yeah the video was a let down but the song was actually pretty good a bit repetitive but good, ive graduated i have my wits about me and im going to school to major in music and in general trivium is a good metal band especially there past work they are talented you cant bash them for that, but you guys have your opinion, we are neither right or wrong but some of you guys need to calm your tits

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  21. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  22. but the singer iz so hawt <3

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  23. I'd rather eat out Tchort's asshole than listen to this.

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  24. Umad, you need an argument to why this isn't metal? He's wearing a fucking scarf. Done

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  25. Whoever said the bridge 'Full of power chords and some grade school piano' evidently doesn't actually know how to play the song at all. It doesn't include any power chords, in fact, there isnt much use of power chords in the entire song at all...

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.