Friday, June 17, 2011

Lyrics

So, not long ago I had a discussion with an acquaintance (since we’re both too metal to be friends) of mine about Cerebral Bore, and how he thinks they’re overrated. I disagreed with most of what he said, but I was able to let it slide since he was almost as supremely metal as I am, and I just chalked it up to him not having figured out I was correct yet. He made a somewhat valid argument, right up until he ruined it all for himself and immediately voided his own opinion by saying: “…not to mention the lyrics are retarded as shit.”
Really? You care about CEREBRAL BORE’s lyrics? Do you actually listen to them and comment on the lack of poetic value that the text of a brutal death metal band fronted by a 19 year old Dutch chick possesses? Without reading them, tell me what parts of this song’s lyrics you dislike so much:
Oh, that part? Hmm, maybe I should get my ears checked, because all I heard was a bunch of pigs getting thrown into a garbage disposal whenever she sings. And you know how I feel about that? I think it’s fucking awesome. I don’t know many humans that are able to pull off a sewer drain imitation decently, let alone get it spot on. The fact that she can do that is the shit. My acquaintance can’t sound like that, and yet he’s trying to dismiss her as a vocalist because her lyrics aren’t amazing? Yeah, no.


It’s time the people knew: thinking lyrics have any impact on the quality of a metal song is the mark of a poseur. Even if they ARE good, they ultimately make no difference 100% of the time. 3 good examples of this are Devourment, Cryptopsy and Exhumed. All of those bands have awesome death metal lyrics, and all of those bands would be just as enjoyable to listen to if R. Kelly wrote for them. Look up the lyrics to Defenestration, Baby Killer and In the Name of Gore, then listen to the song (assuming you haven’t done this 1,000 times already, which by the way means you still have much work to do), and try to tell me you can understand everything they say so I can call you a poseur and mock you endlessly for thinking that we don’t automatically know you’re full of shit. It’s quite obvious that they just recorded vocals first and wrote lyrics afterward, which is fine because they are kickass vocalists who can get away with that since we don’t need to understand Devourment’s lyrics anyway, as the music is equally retarded (if not moreso).
If I want to listen to lyrics about mindbending concepts and deep philosophical questions, I’ll listen to Tool, but since Tool isn’t metal, I won’t listen to lyrics about mindbending concepts and deep philosophical questions. Instead I am perfectly content to throw on Tomb of the Mutilated and assume Chris Barnes is singing about killing people in grotesque ways. I’ve covered Cannibal Corpse songs before without even having to know the lyrics, because face it, no one knows what I’m saying anyway.
If you got into metal because of the lyrics, you’re going to stop listening to it once you lose your virginity, and that makes you a falsie. I listen to metal because it’s the best music in the universe, not because I want to shock the headmaster of my boarding school. If I found out today that all of Vomitory’s lyrical content was actually more like John Mayer’s, I wouldn’t stop listening to them. Hell, if anything, I’d start to like them more for making supergay love songs so deliciously brutal.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “But Xandemic, all you’ve mentioned so far are death metal bands, what about other genres like power metal or thrash where the vocals are more understandable?”
To which I say this: are you going to listen to Blind Guardian for what Hansi has to say? No, you’re not, and he knows that, which is why his lyrics haven’t made any sense for a decade now. He’s more focused on writing awesome music than lyrics you tweens can post as your facebook statuses. Lyrics don’t matter - not even in power metal. I’ll explain every Manowar song concept for you right now: “We’re the kings of metal, we play really loud, we’re brothers in metal, look at our manly man muscles, posers die.” Enjoy.
Still not convinced? Read me the lyrics to your favorite 80’s thrash song. Is it still your favorite? Yes? Then the lyrics have no bearing on the music. Thrash was created by drunk teenagers who flunked all their English classes in the USA, and by drunk teenagers who aren’t native English speakers in Europe. I’m sure you can find plenty of stuff in those various discographies that rival Shakespeare in quality of prose. Not. Go do a backflip off the top of a skyscraper. Thanks.
Lyrics, as fun as they may be to write, don’t impact metal songs at all in terms of enjoyability. Stop worrying about what you’re saying, and start worrying about making music that doesn’t suck. I’m looking at you, All That Remains.

35 comments:

  1. Actually, Amon Amarth have amazing lyrics and in some cases I can enjoy the songs more because of that. Yeah, obviously in most cases you have to look them up online, but once you know them you can understand Johan's singing and you can clearly hear the words he says. For example, Fate of Norns was an awesome song that at first just sounded like another Amon Amarth song, and there was nothing wrong with that, but when I realized the song was actually about a viking warrior having lost his only son and having to bury him, there was a deeper meaning too the song and it suddenly I could detect real emotion in the singing as this reflected part of Johan's real life. Wrath of the Norsemen from Surtur Rising is very similar in the feel and emotion of the lyrics. For the most part, lyrics don't really matter if you're talking about hardcore, brutal death metal, but there are exceptions. An example of a band that no one really gives a shit about lyrics would be Iron Maiden. They're just awesome. Metallica (master of puppets era) would also still be good even with lyrics about receiving an enema in the face from the fat Russian owner of a gay bar. But maybe not.

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  2. If an artist has good lyrics, cool, bonus points to those guys for giving me an extra thing to like about them. But when it boils down to it, if I don't like the lyrics I'll deal, provided the rest of the band cuts the mustard. Like I said, there are bands that have cool lyrics and that's basically how the singer expresses him/herself more often than not, but if you tried to tell me Carcass sucked because you hated their lyrics, I'd laugh at you before casually pushing you into traffic for wasting my precious time.
    You seem like you know better though. Plus Carcass has pretty cool lyrics...

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  3. Enema in the face from the fat russian owner of a gay bar...isn't that an Anal Cunt song?

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  4. Good lyrics are always a bonus though. For example http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yANTE_DqDfc

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  5. Of course, the only lyrics that are truly acceptable and worthy of mention are those that deal with the daily lives of Metalheads; that is, when they talk about beer.

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  6. Psycho-Toaster6/18/2011 5:51 AM

    What about black metal bands with Christian lyrics, something widely considered unmetal?

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  7. Black metal bands with Christian lyrics. Are the members themselves satanists? Is it like Burzum not being NSBM even though Varg is NS? No, Christian black metal sucks because it's CHRISTIAN BLACK METAL. The lyrics only further the gheyness of it all, but it's not like it would be good without christian lyrics.

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  8. Say what you want about XBM but Horde's "Hellig Usvart" is better than most of the satanic black metal of that era. Just saying.

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  9. So are my bowel movements. Your point?

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  10. TheDestroyedBeloved6/18/2011 1:14 PM

    I have to say that if a band were to start writing angsty lyrics I'd stop listening to them. I guess what you should be saying is as long as the lyrics make you want to break shit (but in a good way)then they're acceptable.

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  11. What good bands make you wanna break shit? Especially ones with non-angsty lyrics? Breaking stuff has Nu Metal written all over it.

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  12. Lyrics suck. When I heard Unleashed's Wir kapitulieren niemals, I heard the awesome "Fucking death metal" in the chours. Then I found out that it was actualy "Viking death metal"... which is about as much badass, but yet a little disappointing :(
    Lyrics are bonus indeed, I get a hard on on Bal-Sagoth's lyrics, but if they were dumb I'd still like them, and if the music were bad the lyrics couldn't save them.

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  13. Fucking finally. Thank you! Someone finally understands. King Buzzo of the Melvins even stated that lyrics don't matter to him, and that's why none of his songs MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

    The only lyrics I ever cared about were those of Warning's, Black Sabbath, and that's absolutely it. I only like the lyrics to Blind Guardian's Nightfall in(on?) Middle earth. It just adds to the atmosphere more, kinda like Warning. And Black Sabbath just sings about badass stuff. I also think some of the lyrics to sons like NIB make the song that much more badass. But yeah, otherwise, I agree with you 100%.

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  14. ImOldAndDontHaveAurl6/18/2011 10:09 PM

    Man, I wish Cyanide would just go away.

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  15. I agree, fuck lyrics. The only exception is Christian lyrics. I don't care if the band is fucking brutal as shit, if the band even mentions Jebus, they lose all respect from me. I don't care how extreme an "unblack" metal band is, being Christian and singing about anti-Satan is the most unmetal thing that anyone can ever take part in. Fuck Christians, they ruin metal. Period.

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  16. That works for me too. I guess it's never been an issue because every christian metal band I've heard play like the christblowing pussies they are, so it never got to the part where the lyrics ruined it for me. The music had already accomplished that.

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  17. kingcarcas13496/19/2011 3:18 AM

    Can't understand um half the time and people make a big deal over it. There are some where they do matter and are intelligible but if the music sucked nobody would care. The actual vocals are much more important to me, they can make or break a band.

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  18. But what if the lyrics were something along the lines of homo erotic science fiction - Featuring john mayer? Would THAT be good HUH?
    Maybe, and that is my point.

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  19. Finally, someone wrote down my thoughts on this. You don't like metal for the lyrics. It's never been about that.

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  20. You're really right on here. A great lyric is a bonus in heavy metal but a terrible one is just as rewarding. And, in the end, the vocal is really just another instrument. Concentrate too much on anything outside the music and you may as well be reading.

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  21. I remember when reading the violation about baseball caps that video was the only thing that popped into my mind.

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  22. Lyrics are pretty metal. Why do you think we hate when bands talk about stuff like love or flowers? I don't know if the Painkiller would be the same if the lyrical theme was different, or I don't know how would Iron Maiden be. Also, this somewhat contradicts the christian metal think, because the only thing that disinguishes a non christian metal band from one that is, is the lyrics.

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  23. Really? Show me a christian metal band that's a third as good as their non-christian counterparts. I've been looking for years.

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  24. @Xandemic: One has already been mentioned, Horde.

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  25. ^^^ a video of horde playing live.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXf1V-8P8aQ

    1/3 as good as non-christians. lol.

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  26. That um....that's still pretty fucking awful.

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  27. Well said Xandemic. Like you said, good lyrics are a plus (Like in Sabbat(uk)'s case) but for the most part they're irrelevant when judging the quality of music. Anyone who has listened to death metal for a period of time longer than a week realizes that lyrics are probably the lowest priority on the metal musician's mind, if lyrics even make it to the list at all.

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  28. Well, sorry but that sounds like garbage

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  29. I agree that at least in a brutal death metal band lyrics shouldn't matter. I actually find it silly when you have these political grindcore/dm bands preaching about modern society. What's the point if noone can even understand you?

    That being said, good lyrics can be a huge bonus. For example with the new Peste Noire album, the music just makes much more sense when you understand the lyrics, although the latter is by no means a requirement to enjoy the music.

    About christian black metal: it's not so much the lyrics themselves that are silly as much as the idea and concept behind the band being totally ridiculous.

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  30. Uh-Oh spaghetti-O's, I see two baseball caps...

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  31. Antestor is THE best unblack metal band. They are actually one of the finest melodic black metal bands around.

    And Arghoslent is made up of just plain fuckin white supremacists but the music is just plain fuckin awesome.

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  32. Captain Face4/04/2012 10:57 PM

    Death
    That is all.

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  33. Not true. Lyrics do matter. If they sing about lovey dovey pseudo-emo stuff, no way, they're no longer Metal. Obviously. If they sing about how sad and miserable life is or that a post-teenage high school crush was lost, then no, they're not Metal either. Lyrics such as these mentioned are rather derogatory in terms of what actually is Metal. They're definitely not metal if they're singing about something lame like Christianity, why can't the same reasons extend to other things that are lame? It's contradicting and makes a hypocrite out of you if you only consider one lyrical content such as Christianity lame, and not other lyrical content that are blatantly, very lame. Case in point, Cerebral Bore's lyrics are okay, mostly flesh mutilation mixed with sexual brutality, it's not bad, but I'd say it's very amateur and unoriginal. Meaning they bring nothing revolutionizing to the table, they're really rather mediocre, one can say they're almost too serious about what they're singing about. Cerebral Core needs to fucking lighten up a little and have some Hellish or Satanic fun, I almost feel like the lead singer is only singing about some bitch she met during her sophomore year of high school and now she's finally received the green light to vent her anger. Metal is not about being serious, being serious is something those yuppies, rap fans, and "normal" sheep use to stick far up their asses every morning to start their miserable, worthless day.
    Cerebral Core's lyrics are not the best, true, but they're not the worst either, also true. However, to say that the lyrical content of a song doesn't matter is not true. I'm not saying it's the MOST IMPORTANT thing, but lyrical content is more important than it's generally given credit for and CAN make or break a "proposed" Metal band as we have all seen done quite often.
    Just for example, I like Belphegor because they sing about being Satanic, hailing Satan, Sexual Gratification, and so forth, but I don't see that they're being too damn serious about what they're singing about since it's all very fantastical. Nothing they're doing seems like they're just spreading hate and anger about some bitchy girl they met back in high school.
    Same with The Black Dahlia Murder, there's a song about Castlevania II, a bit of bite and tickle necrophilia (in one song, mind you,) being in cryo-stasis for thousands of years, and cult rituals. Love TBDM.
    Best of all, let's consider Dethklok; with songs about paying taxes, laser death cannon sentences, summoning trolls, lost vikings, and riding on a fucking thunder horse, who can say this isn't Metal.
    Isn't that why we all listen to Metal? To leave aside all that stupid "He said She said" commotion and drama that is so prevalent in pop, hip hop, rap, r&b, and country? I feel like Cerebral Core is leaning towards that Jersey Shore drama but in the disguise of Metal. Metal is not about fucking Baby Mama Drama. 'Nuff said. (applause)

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  34. Props for finally mentioning brutal death metal.

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  35. Demonsaurus, every song is about about how sad and miserable life is, even if it's not in the lyrics. Metal DID come from the BLUES. Metalheads are just too angry to give a shit how sad and depressing life actually is. Smoke weed and listen to the band DEATH (or any metal band for that matter) and you'll know what I'm talking about.

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.