Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Elitist News - Now Accepting Your News

Are you tired of being just like that girl up there? Want to feel like you have a say in what's posted here? Now you have the chance. Starting today I will be opening the gates for YOU the poseurs seeking enlightenment on how to be metal. Have news you think should be posted? Send it over. A band you want promoted? Send it over! An album you want reviewed? Send it over! Want to tell me that I am both a 12 year old and a middle aged man who lives in his mother's basement and has never had sex? SEND IT OVER! Want to send me STUPID BULLSHIT completely unrelated to this website or metal just to have the satisfaction that I had to read something you wrote?  FUCKING SEND IT OVER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR !?!?!?!?!?!11111

Brenocide doesn't have time to read your shit every day. He has things to FUCKING do. I on the other hand am consistently angry about EVERY SINGLE THING I see on any metal news site and am more than happy to be consistently angry that you have filled my inbox with MUSICAL DIARRHEA.

Email me at sagecutioner [at] thatsnotmetal.com (Now included on the contact page) and remember, there is NO LIMIT to how much more metal than you I can be.


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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.