Jon Schaffer's Drunken Interview with Metal Injection

I'm impossibly above average at everything I face in life, but I'm sometimes lacking in the interview/conversational department. Sometimes I just know these complex, perfect words that exactly describe the situation I'm trying to explain to someone, but when it comes time to pull them out of the queue of my brain and put them to use when they work best, I completely forget the word and struggle to replace it with a worthy substitute. It's not just really big words either, sometimes it's basic stuff like "surround" or "epitome".

In Jon Schaffer's case however, it's the words like "person" that really throw him off. He eventually gets it, but at first, he has to go with the phrase "I'm a people."

The backdrop for this situation is we're on the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise ship, and we got Noa from Metal Injection sitting in an awkwardly cramped room with famed Iced Earth riff chugger, Jon Schaffer.  She's certainly no Barbara Walters as far as questioning someone goes, but she's a cutie, and she gets her point across the best she can. It becomes painfully evident very soon however, that Schaffer has treated himself to quite a few Johnny Walkers long before Noa stepped in to talk with him about his cruise line experience, and his future plans for Iced Earth and Demons and Wizards. Although every answer he gives Noa is in an almost comically drunken stupor, the little gem I wrote word for word below is probably the highlight of the interview.

Noa: You're locked on a boat with fans. What was your reaction?
Schaffer: Well... ... It's not a problem, these are people... I'm a people... guy.... I'm a person guy. It's like I'm just a guy you know I mean... so it's no... it's no big deal to... to... it's cool to talk to the people. It's cool to talk to the fans and be here and you can hear what they say and um... I listen to theyum... always... you know...
Noa: Yeah...
Schaffer: I wanna know what they have what their feelings are cause that helps give me... it makes.. it helps me make decisions that are... good for what we are doing, you know?
Noa: Mmhmm.
Schaffer: If the fans say this is... *gulp* 'this is what you need to do' and I listen. It's that simple.
I couldn't have said it better myself.