|Let us raise our hands and pray to the irony gods.|
"So what exactly would somebody call nerd metal?" you inquire of me, because you're dumb and you don't know. Fret not, I'll be happy to explain to you all about nerd metal, or as we should more properly refer to it: Asperger's metal.
The majority (99.99%) of nerd metal consists of garage bands playing video game themes with distorted guitars. Most notable of these acts being Powerglove. Since Powerglove does a good amount of themes from different video games, are well-produced musically, and open up for a lot of big name metal acts as kind of an ironic novelty, nobody else really needs to. Regardless of this, 50-100 new hand-flapping face touchers upload tracks of themselves chugging Final Fantasy tunes on their black Epiphones every day to Myspace Music and YouTube, giving themselves and their sausage-fingered pals an 8-bit boner for turning The Legend of Zelda into something you can speed pick to.
The rest of nerd metal is a bunch of mouth breathers pursuing originality by means of making terrible music and incorporating sounds, odd time signatures, and instruments that don't really make sense. I was trolling around on Metal Sucks today to find out the latest horribly produced underground progressive post blackened screamcore grind deathgroove band the site was madly in love with this particular afternoon, and I instead stumbled on to this treasure trove of retarded: