Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Unintelligible Band Logos

Hey Xasthur, this is what an X looks like: "X". Try it some time. 
I don't really see the appeal in penning up yourself a band logo that nobody can read. Sure, it looks cool. Do you know what else looks cool? A shark. If you don't want to show people the name of your band, but just want to show them something that looks cool, just hand them a picture of a shark. Good luck promoting yourself as cool shark picture.

Those aren't words, no matter what you tell anyone or want anyone to believe. They're just a picture of some shit that's curling and jagged and spiky and looks badass. Don't get me wrong for a minute here, I can appreciate that. But if you're going to draw a picture of a mess of white branches, don't treat me like I didn't take the amount of elementary school education to realize it doesn't actually say "Korgonthurus". Try drawing the Slayer logo on the front of a notebook. How long did it take you? 12 seconds tops to angle it right? Now next to that, draw me the logo for Waking the Cadaver. I'll call your family to let them know not to worry...

There is no K, O, R, G, O, N, T, H, U, R, U or S in this picture.
That's just a goddamn tree.
I'm going to assume that a garbled, nonsensical band logo is some obscene way to keep your band as kvlt and underground as humanly possible. After all, nobody can spread the good word about a band who's name is indiscernible to the naked human eye. It's the perfect way to keep your metal band a bad inside joke among your 3 or 4 close personal friends. After all, if you make any effort to promote your band whatsoever, like making a logo that's literately understandable, you're a false poseur sellout.

"Forgotten Band"
So in the tradition of the unreadable band logo, I would like to introduce to everyone the name of my up and coming future solo project:


  1. This is so TRVE AND KVLT.

  2. your band's called "Krangstamper"?
    That's pretty brootal man. Stay trve kvlt

  3. Well, this is the Trvest Thing ever

  4. SurvivedAbortion4/19/2011 9:57 PM

    Look up the logo of the band "Senthil". It is even wosre then the Korgonthurus logo.

  5. Think those are bad? Look up Triste. I haven't given them(him?) a listen but their/his logo isn't even a logo at all. It looks like some modern art grad student's rejected scratching on a chalkboard. Seriously. Like someone decided they'd try to draw a mermaid and only got as far as the hair before abandoning the whole project. And don't get me started on half of these Slam/Goregrind bands that no one knows/cares about and make it impossible for anyone to know/care about on account of not being able to read the damn logo. It's suicide.

    And to Nekrosys, that band is just a terrible example of attention-whoring fucks. Props for making up about 33 random portmanteaus, but they suck so bad, and the whole logo looks like Es. Yet they need more recognition all the same just for the sake of ludicrousness. Fuck, I need rest.

  6. Sten Sarapson2/06/2012 5:04 AM

    Oh come on!..
    The logo of Triste is one of my favourites!..
    The reasons why the logos above suck, is that nobody will recognize your band from looking at the spiky mess... If you make a generic Grindgore/Black Metal logo, then it should be readable... The name on those types of logos are the only unique part...

    The logo of Triste, on the other hand, is so different, I can spot it a mile away...


  7. this is why i love this website

  8. Look for Nasty Pig Dick, and try to understand it.

  9. "Hey! How do you like my band's new logo?"
    -"I can't read it. How'd you design it?"
    "I shot my load on a black t-shirt"

  10. haha this is dumb! OH I CANT READ YOUR LOGO BITCH & MOAN. GO BLOG ABOUT IT RRRR 98% of all bands suck. it doesn't fucking matter what your logo looks like, what matters is that the music you play is good. You, my friend, have missed the fucking point.

  11. Did you know? Band logos don't ACTUALLY have to be text!! Shocking, I know. :O Infact, a 'logo' is firstly an image. Which is why Xasthur, for example, does not use the word "XASTHUR" as his logo, but inface an image, with no text, that is easily recognizable, at least in the black metal world, as the logo of Xasthur. Crazy stuff. We're getting into almost grade 5 level material here, folks. Regardless, *rarely* in the metal world does someone hear a cool band, and look at it's logo to find out what it's called.

  12. ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

  13. Unintelligible logos are totally metal! And it does say korgonthurus in their logo, it's easy to say aaah, its just trees and branches, but if you look at it closely you can easily see it, but it's funnier if you exeggerate and say it's just some trees i guess....


All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.