There's no such thing as a "Scene King"

Let them eat... oh, that isn't cake...

I made mention of this fact in my last post about hair dye, but I wanted to touch upon it a bit further for the benefit of some readers, who may not have understood what I was getting at. "Scene queens", like their name implies, are like the elites of scenesters. They have more piercings, more color in their hair, more makeup on, more bad tattoos, more obnoxious accessories, more Myspace friends, and listen to more underground synthpop post hardcore industrial indie crunk bands than the next scenester. They are the ultra scenester. They hold themselves on a higher level than other scenesters, and because of this, their only friends and connections lie within the online realm, where they post either extremely high-res or extremely low-res pictures of themselves in suggestive poses in the mirror, or downward angle shots of them doing nonsensical hand signs while pursing their lips.

"Scene queen" was a phrase originally reserved for females of this type, and when males of the same caliber started popping up everywhere, people appropriately adjusted the phrase to match up with their questionable boy parts, often cleverly referring to them as "scene kings".  It is at this time, that I would like to submit to everyone that the term "scene king" is a redundant one, and that the title "scene queen" is a label that very easily transcends the boundaries of gender.

The reason for my suggestion is obvious: these gentlemen, be they gentlemen or not, appropriately deserve to be referred to as "queens". With their flamboyancy, their girlish looks, and their love of attention, (and potentially other boys), I see the term as a very fitting one. If not even more fitting for them specifically, than for their female counterparts.

We call effeminate men who dress like women "drag queens", or at least we used to. (As you can tell from the rest of my page, I'm not exactly up on what's politically correct.) As you'll often (always) see, that is what we're dealing with here in reference to "scene kings". They wear lip gloss, eye liner, wax their eyebrows, tease, dye, and straighten their hair, wear bright colors, paint their nails, shave their bodies, wear impossibly tight pants, and go on strict diets to maintain their girlish figures. I hardpress anyone to have an easy time calling Hans Harling anything but a queen:

I think I've made my point.