Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Unmetal Report: Trancecore

"Asking Alexandria" what exactly? If she likes breakdowns blended with random shitty techno?
They call it "trancecore". I'll call it trancecore too, for the lack of a better term. I'm sure floods of techno loving fan boys have their own artistically void, beepidy-boopidy computer generated rave beat sub-genre that they want to be called "trancecore" instead of this. I'm looking forward to hearing from those fruitcups, but the argument is irrelevant. It's like you're gonna make me sit here, hand me a cup of dog feces and cat feces respectively, and then give me a hard time about which one I'm supposed to call poop.

Some evil, Nazi metalcore scientists were sitting in a garage together, trying to concoct a brilliant scheme as to how to make the genre of metalcore plausibly worse. All That Remains was releasing albums at a steady rate, so it's safe to say they had their work cut out for them. After years of careful consideration, they concluded on throwing a skinny girl boy with a KORG synthesizer into the mix, and the sub-genre of trancecore saw fruition. Bands like Asking Alexandria, Abandon All Ships, Attack Attack!, and Jamie's Elsewhere became the soundtrack to everything I hate in life...



Metalcore, being seen as "The Next Big Thing" quickly became this bloated, oversaturated sub-genre with more bands joining the fray than it knew what to do with. It became a beached whale, so to speak, dying from its own enormous girth, suffocating under it's own staggering weight. New bands with new sentence-long names starting popping up and getting signed by money hungry (Victory) record execs at an hourly rate. The same riffs, the same breakdowns, the same tired scream-the-verse-sing-the-chorus formula, over and over and over again. Originality was all but forsake in these lands. So the kids got desperate. To set themselves apart from the by the dozen metalcore acts, they incorporated the use of synthesized sounds and auto-tuned vocals. The teenage girls loved it. As you know, where there are teenage girls, there are young adult males trying to score with them by playing music that they like. 

This is a scene of shameless copy-cats, poseurs, and trend followers. The moment anything starts to pick up, everybody else has to start doing it too. Now every band that can play a breakdown is trading their Schecters for Casios, and instead of having a metalcore band trying something different, we have an entirely new sub-genre of shitty music. Trancecore is an obnoxious disgrace, even as far as metalcore goes. You got this breakdown sound that appeals to the highest spin-kicking of hardcore pitsters, yet you're bringing in this brain dead dance club element into the mix. It just ends up confusing everybody. Are we supposed to mosh, or are we supposed to flail some glowsticks around and suck on a pacifier? 

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate originality. Especially when the world of hard rock is quickly running out of fresh ideas. This is just taking things too far. This electronica dance club crap is what they do in pop music. Even if your screamo sucks man stick, you're still part of a hard rock underground that the radio mainstream fails to acknowledge. We will always have that in common. Or rather, we'll have that in common until your genre fades like the trend it is, and mine consistently remains. Either way, don't bring their world into ours, or else they're going to start bringing our world into theirs. Nobody wants that. 

13 comments:

  1. Sometimes I just feel depressed when you tell me about this stuff.

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  2. This type of crappy music will be gone in a few years, only to be replaced by the next hipster-fueled hype. As always. Certainly depressing

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  3. i liked the song, except there was too much synth

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  4. Some kid posted a video by that asking alexandria band. I promptly put the caption under the photo as a comment on the video.

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  5. Trading Schecters for calculators?
    :DDDDD

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  6. barf. that makes me ill. no wonder half the kids listening to this crappy "music" want to kill themselves...

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  7. The thing I hate the most about shitty metalcore with synths, is it stole the name from trancecore a genre of hardcore techno. Now whenever I look up trancecore I get this shitty autotuned crap.

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  8. they sound and look like manly women...

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  9. whats wrong with schecters?

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  10. Schecter's are the epitome of scene guitar brands, and their build quality is shit. If I wanted a baseball bat for a neck I'd make my own guitar rather than spend $700.

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  11. I don't even need to listen to this shit. I just take one look at these faggots and I go into an anger-induced seizure.

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  12. SMOKE WEED ALL DAAAAY

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All readers that post under the name "Anonymous" and are too frail and weak to represent themselves properly with a title, shall be deemed false metal poseurs for the remainder of their pitiful existence.