Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Satyricon performing at a fashion show? NOT METAL

In my last Q&A, it was brought to my attention that I accidentally called early 80's band D.R.I a neo-thrash band. The guy who asked me his question about 80's crossover bands worded it kind of odd when he mentioned DRI, and yeah I'll admit it, I haven't heard of them before and got confused. So after smashing my laptop and vowing never to write another blog as long I drew air into my lungs, I drunkenly stumbled downtown in the street with my shirt unbuttoned pouring a bottle of whiskey down my face, furiously sobbing about my egregious error until a truck hit me. After the cops found me in a pile of broken glass and vomit, passed out in an alley, barely alive, they kicked me in the stomach, took my wallet and made me go home. A broken man, and an empty shell of my former self, I put my laptop back together with duct tape and and razor blades to cut my hands upon each use as a sufficient form of punishment for my crime against metal. I checked out the other metal sites who know better than to make reasonable human mistakes like I did. That's when I saw a video of black metal band Satyricon performing live at a fashion show in Norway with runway models strutting around them while they were playing their shitty post-sellout black and roll music.

Cleary, there is still work to be done. 


  1. Satyricon suck anyway, you see that 'If the Light Takes Us' documentary? Frost doing his lame-o 'performance art' cutting himself after Fenriz turned the dudes down haha

  2. Satyricon had two good albums. Then they went down the shitter. Dark Medieval Times and Nemesis Divina.

  3. I don't understand why Satyricon performing at a fashion show isn't metal?..
    Dethklok did it..
    It doesn't make them any less metal, it just makes the fashion show a lot more metal, haha :P

  4. Here's the odd thing about your point:
    Metalocalypse is meant to be a fucking joke.

  5. The odd thing is
    it's a fucking cartoon!!!!
    In the end it sorta makes sense, you think these Euro dudes are all "kvlt" but when you see these Scandinavian countries outside of that context they look like a bunch of pansies (no offense)

  6. satyricon at a fashion show?!
    that's just a nightmare.....


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