Woe is Metal Music

I think especially after I took all those days off, that you guys are more than overdue for some truly terrible, fake metal music listening. As I've stated multiple times in the last couple of weeks, synth and auto-tuned driven bleepbloopcore is the latest weapon in a poseurs' musical arsenal, and today we're going to be looking at Atlanta, Georgia riff chuggers Woe Is Me. This is the latest dirty bomb that fake shitty metal will be dropping square on the integrity of hard rock music. Man this sucks.

After I looked at their class photo-sized band photos, you'll be surprised to hear that Woe Is Me is actually a 7-piece. Newsflash bands: If you need two guys to do nothing but sing vocals, you're doing it wrong. It's not like screamo vocals are anything close to difficult or require any actual special talent to do. That one guy with the 10-year-old boy haircut who sings like an auto-tuned Michael Jackson could just as easily try sounding like a house cat in heat and replace the other dude altogether. This is just a case of the Slipknots where we have to let all of our buddies into the band so we can all be rad and famous together. Also, where do you shitty jun-jun-jun bands get off thinking you need more than one guitarist? Forget breakdowns, it's time for some lay-offs. Consider playing your music efficiently, and realize you have 3-4 more members than you need to make this shitty music. 

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER FIRE.

Special thanks to Stuff You Will Hate for enjoying bands like this, and sharing them, so I can subsequently share them and hate them.